There are many situations that prepare Nigerians for the tough life. Have you ever wondered why it is easy for a Nigerian student to survive anywhere? That is because Nigerian universities are like endurance camps where students have to go through many hurdles to pass through the system. There is a popular saying that if you can successfully pass through a Nigerian university, you can pass through anything in life. All I can say is that there is no lie in that. Without much ado, grab your textbooks and your sense of humour, as we dive into the rollercoaster of challenges every student must face in a Nigerian university:
The Hustle for Lecture Seats:
There is no scramble like the scramble for seats in lecture halls. This is where legends are made as students develop “desk-flying”, “long-jumping”, and “power-pushing” superpowers to get front-row seats. One thing about the classrooms in Nigerian universities is that they put the word, “overcrowded”, to shame. So getting a seat near the front where the professor’s voice is clear and the fan’s breeze is strong is like obtaining gold. That is why you need a blend of strategic timing, swift reflexes, and a dash of ninja moves before making your way to the university.
The ‘Sorting’ Saga:
Sorting is like a rite of passage in Nigerian universities. There are many people whose languages you can’t decode without a little “financial translation”. There’s that lecturer who acts like he doesn’t understand English unless it comes in an envelope or a bank alert. There’s also that course rep who you need to tap on the back with some notes (not notebooks) before you can sign an attendance list. Whether you need a special seat or an advance peek at exam questions, you have to key in on the “sorting tradition”. But fear not! This challenge teaches you negotiation skills that would impress even the best Onitsha market trader!
Power Play with Electric Current:
In Nigerian universities, power cuts are like surprise tests – they come when you least expect them. And, in situations like this, your laptop also becomes an ally with the treacherous NEPA as it suddenly turns into a time bomb, racing against the clock until the battery blinks out. If you want to make it through studying, especially when you have to revise your notes for that big exam, be prepared to add candles to your first-aid box. Who needs electricity to conquer the academic world, anyway?
The Hostel Hunt Adventure:
There is no treasure hunt like the hostel hunt, especially when you have to do it through an online portal. After going through the rigorous test of patience from the snail-like speed of the portal due to the number of students trying their luck just like you, you finally click on a room hoping that it is finally over… only for you to find out that another student already beat you to the chase. Some even have to go as far as oiling the palms of the higher-ups to get a space because the struggle is real. There’s also that little prayer at the back of your mind that you do not get a room that has a leaky room or is infested with horrors.
Exam Fever and the Last-Minute Cram Dance:
Exams in Nigerian universities always feel like something thrown from a catapult. That is why Nigerian students master the art of the last-minute cram dance. Armed with highlighters and energy drinks, students will dance through the night, filling complex theories and equations into sleep-deprived brains. After all, who needs eight hours of sleep when there is a carryover thread hanging over their head? It is during these moments that night classes get filled to the brim like the venue of a solution arena crusade, with the hymns of cramming buzzing through the windows like desperate bees.
Queue Wars:
Everything is a game of queuing in Nigerian universities. From printing shops to exam halls and administrative offices, you have got to master the art of waiting in line. It is not just a test of patience, but also a test of your ability to defend your spot from line-cutters with your best bombastic side-eye. If you have a low level of endurance or little stamina in your legs, you won’t be able to survive in a Nigerian university because, besides the constant queuing that is sometimes unnecessary, there is an astronomical mystery that makes the sunlight on campuses very intense. Yes, you have to stand under the most scorching sun you have ever seen.
The WiFi Quest:
Another thing about Nigerian universities; there is a strategy for getting good WiFi. You have to embark on a heroic quest for it, camping out near admin buildings or climbing staircases – whatever works. It is yet to be disclosed whether having bad WiFi is a strategy devised by universities to train students on how to search for resources during an apocalypse or if it is just what it is. However, it feels like finding a hidden treasure chest when one discovers a “WiFi zone” and manages to get connected.
Rosemary Kasiobi Nwadike
Related posts
Reviews
Follow Our Activities On Facebook
10 hours ago
14 hours ago
16 hours ago
16 hours ago
18 hours ago
SUBSCRIBE
[mc4wp_form id=”2012″]
Top Reads!
#BigBrotherNaija “Level Up” Week 6
Though last Sunday Sunday was meant to be a “no-eviction” day, it came as a shocker when fake housemate, Modella…
Dating in 2022; Situationships Are Not For The Fainthearted
Situationships are defined as that space between a defined relationship and something other than a friendship. It is a romantic…
20 Questions With Dinta Media’s Visual Storyteller, Chimeremogo Nwoke
Dinta Media is not really just a media production brand but we like to see ourselves as a hub for…
How Are Nigeria’s Small Businesses Coping?
The current rising rate of inflation and other burdens against the Nigerian economy speaks to the realities of the times.
Thrifting Is All The Rave Now, Here’s Why
By Amy Adindu The affordable clothing movement has gained global attention and acceptance as we’re all trying to look like…
#BigBrotherNaija “Level Up” Week 2
Week 2 of the highly watched Nigerian TV show kicked off with an early plot twist. On Sunday, Big Brother…
#BlueTunes: Burna Boy, Omah Lay Top Album Picks For July
July was a promising month for music lovers; from Lizzo’s album titled Special and Imagine Dragons’ Mercury, (Acts 1 &…
#BlueTunes Album Picks For June
Gbagada Express – Boj Bolaji Odojukan, popularly known as BOJ, was raised both in England and Nigeria. He shot to…
“A Creative’s Dream” with Jeff Chinonso
On the 26th of June 2022, Jeff Chinonso hosted his first solo art exhibition. The Augmented Reality exhibition themed “A…
Nigerian API-based company Thepeer raises $2.1 million
Tech infrastructure startup Thepeer has raised a $2.1 million seed round according to a report from TechCabal. Thepeer, a Nigerian…
Dika Ofoma, Ugochukwu Onuoha take on grief in Debut Film “The Way Things Happen”
The twenty-minute film focuses on the loss of a loved one, and how grief changes a person.
Nigerian Startups might just be Crippled by a Recently Leaked bill
Over the years there has been talks of amendment on the 2007 Act of the National Information & Technology Agency (NITDA).
Why We Love Kelechi Amadi Obi
The definition of talent is Kelechi Amadi’s iconic story. Imagine a person who studies law in school, gets called to Bar, and leaves it all for something different and unrelated…Painting!