They say that every woman has a combination of feminine and masculine energies. That, in order to get things done and done well, she needed to harness her masculine energy to assert authority. In this episode of Real Life Yarns, these women are refuting this statement.
Below, they share their stories to back up the fact that women get more positive results when they engage their feminine power.
Justina
I run a catering house with about five girls under me. When I first started, I was advised to be very firm and never allow my workers to see any weakness in me because female subordinates always tended to disrespect their female bosses. I didn’t want to be disrespected or belittled, so I took the advice and ran the place with a firm hand. In the first two months, I was frustrated! Nothing was moving the way I wanted it to. I quarreled with almost all my girls. One day, I sat down, thought about it, and realised that the high-handedness was not me. I resorted to my natural way of sorting things out with empathy, kindness, gentleness, inclusion, and acceptance. The first week I started implementing this instead, I recorded massive results in cooperation and productivity. I was happy, and my girls were delighted. One of them even came to commend me for “changing hand.” They now confide in me and respect me. Sometimes, we don’t need to use force to earn respect. That will create more problems than solutions.
Uju
I’ve always been a “no gree for anybody” person. Any little thing, I’d think someone was trying to intimidate or insult me, and, in response, I usually become verbally aggressive and unagreeable to show that I was fierce and not to be messed with. Fast forward to 2022, I got into a relationship with a guy I really loved, and this trait I had was threatening to break us apart. I never gave in when he tried to reason with me and always turned casual conversations into quarrels. He got really fed up at one point, and I could tell he was about to call everything off. I didn’t want to lose him and decided to fix my ways. My mom helped me find my nurturing, peaceful, and soft side during that period. He expected an outburst the next time we had a conversation, but I surprised him. He was shocked and impressed at the same time. I continued that way until it became a part of me. That was how I saved that relationship. We just celebrated our one-month wedding anniversary.
Ifeoluwa
People have always complained that I’m too soft. Even my new boss once told me, “Ife, you are a team lead. You have to be hard on your team. If you need to get people on their feet, you need to learn how to hold authority like a man”. But that’s the thing! Why must women become hardened or be like men to establish their authority? As you may have guessed, I didn’t listen to my boss. There is something unique and easy-going about soft feminine power, which has always worked for me. So, I decided to utilise it in my new role as a team lead. It worked! Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t flirt or inflate anybody’s ego. I just used emotional intelligence, subtlety, and empathy. Before I knew it, my team became consistently number 1 in meeting KPIs. Other team leads even started coming to me for tips. Women, use your feminine power today. It doesn’t make you appear weak. It even makes you look more assertive and dominant.
Anietie
As a sales representative, I often encountered resistance from clients who underestimated my capabilities because of my gender. Instead of trying to outdo them with aggressive tactics, I decided to use my feminine charm and intuition. During negotiations, I focused on building genuine connections with my clients, taking the time to understand their needs and concerns on a personal level. I also paid attention to nonverbal cues, such as body language and tone of voice, to measure their reactions and adjust my approach accordingly. This subtle yet powerful strategy not only helped me win over skeptical clients but also led to long-term partnerships based on trust and mutual respect. By embracing my feminine power of empathy and emotional intelligence, I was able to achieve success in a competitive industry without compromising my authenticity.
Nneka
When my father passed away, some distant male relatives felt entitled to take over our family land, claiming that, as a woman and the only child, I had no right to it. Instead of resorting to confrontations or legal battles, I decided to use my feminine power and the intelligence my mother always remarked that I was blessed with in a different way. I invited these relatives over for a peaceful gathering, offering them traditional delicacies and engaging them in heartfelt conversations. Through patience, negotation, and subtle persuasion, I managed to convey the importance of preserving our family’s heritage and ensuring that the land remained in our possession while making sure that everyone felt respected and heard. Eventually, they agreed to compromise, and we reached a mutual understanding that allowed us to maintain ownership of our land while nurturing peace and harmony within the family.
Rosemary Kasiobi Nwadike
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