My Parents Gave My Baby Away After It Was Born – Real Life Yarns
They say that we feel the most pain when we are hurt by our loved ones. They also say that there is no pain like the pain of losing a child. But what happens when these two pains strike at once?
In this episode of Real Life Yarns, we are featuring an emotional conversation between the Blue Talkative and a young woman who is still grieving the painful separation from her child, and loathing her parents who initiated that separation.
So you said your parents gave your baby away after it was born?
Yes, I didn’t even get to see its face. So I don’t know if it was a boy or a girl.
But why would they let you keep the pregnancy for 9 months only to do away with the child?
I was 16 at the time, you see. And my parents were pastors. These staunch, self-righteous, fanatic Christians, so you can imagine the embarrassment I brought to them. They locked me up for 8 months after they found out I was pregnant. No visitors, no contact with friends, whatsoever. And in all those months, none of them looked me in the eye or asked me how I was really doing. Why would they? I was really stupid to mess up their good name, so I didn’t deserve any mercy. My mother initially suggested they abort the child, but my father said it was a sin. The next option was captivity until delivery, so the world won’t see me or know how they had failed as parents and pastors, and that’s what they went with.
Didn’t people ask questions when they didn’t see you?
They did, but my parents had it all planned out. They told anyone who asked that I went to stay with my grandmother for a while. I had just finished secondary school and was yet to gain admission into the university. So, it was a perfect alibi.
How did this experience make you feel?
It destroyed me! I was depressed for years. At other times, I criticized myself. I blamed myself for ruining a child’s life because if I hadn’t been stupid enough to get pregnant, a child wouldn’t have been misplaced in this world. Estranged from his family. I have also been praying for him, her, or, should I say, them, for the past 12 years. I keep praying that they find a good family to love them.
How is your current relationship with your parents?
I’m not on speaking terms with my parents right now. I stayed with them for 5 months, then I went to live with my grandmother for real. I didn’t want anything to do with my parents anymore, and I was lucky that my grandma had the means to send me to the university. My grandma comforted me during my time of grief because she understood my plight. She gave birth to my dad when she was 17, you see. And she raised him without a father until she got married later.
Wow! So, what about the father of your child?
I’d rather not talk about him. He was one of the reasons why I really loathed myself during my pregnancy. He denied me and rejected my pregnancy because he was also from a clerical family. I really do not want to talk about him.
So, you are married now! Tell us about your marriage.
I got married at 25, and I’m 29 now. My husband is the best man on earth. He knows my story and has even helped me look for my child, even though that was futile. We have a 4-year-old son now, and I’d never let him near my parents. They have visited several times, but I turned them away. They even tried reaching out to my husband, but until I find my child, I don’t think I can ever forgive them.
Rosemary Kasiobi Nwadike
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