FIRST REALM: African Parents on giving feedback, right or wrong?
Every word you will utter today will be a reaction to something. Anything.
Locked in my liquid thoughts, the breeze danced over my cold freshly red painted toenails leaving echoes of “Ada! Ada!” Ringing in the air. “Yesssss, I am coming,” my voice echoed.
It was papa calling me. I had served him freshly cooked vegetable soup and moulded eba for his lunch before I went to my room. “Yes, Sir. You were calling me,” I said to Papa. His eyebrows were drawn up, making the skin on his forehead fold into four fleshy lines as he slowly dipped his right middle finger into the smoking soup and put it in his mouth. “Bring salt for me,” he said. “You people don’t put salt in your food anymore.”
I never knew Papa’s comments could be packaged better until I learnt about the sandwich method.
During my soft skills training on effective communication, I learnt that you have to use the sandwich method when giving your feedback. When using this method, you have to put the first slice of bread which is called ‘compliment’ (praise or commendation), then spread your butter or even sprinkle mashed fish on it—this is called ‘complaint,’ and you then place another slice of bread over it—another compliment. This is how good feedback should be delivered.
But why all this packaging? They said it is a way to show that you value the time, skill, and thought one has put into a task or action.
Does papa know about the sandwich rule? Do your African parents use the sandwich rule? Come let’s discuss this in the comment section.
The smoke from papa’s food is getting thinner by now. Let me go and get salt.
Chinedum Onyinyechi Agwu is a Copywriter (sales & branding), Content Editor, and a budding organisational communications strategist. She is intentional about self-development, loves to learn about how money works, and helping people with self-awareness and communications etiquette, thereby connecting them.
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