1. Whenever you make him laugh. If all the Facebook posts my friend's mom shares are true, then Marilyn Monroe once said, "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything." The same applies to guys too. I guess some women can make guys do anything even if they can't make them laugh, but it's still better if you can make them laugh, honestly.
2. When you fall asleep on his shoulder. This is easily on the list of "Top 5 Things Guys Would Call 'Adorable' Even Though Guys Seldom Use the Word 'Adorable' and Also the Word 'Seldom.'" I wouldn't want to read that list though.
3. When you give back one of his sweatshirts. Don't steal them. Someone who knows how to borrow ... that's the kind of person guys fall in love with.
4. When he wakes up next to you and realizes how lucky he is. He does this more often than you know, but then he goes back to sleep for three hours, and you wake up and get mad at him for sleeping through brunch.
5. The first time you spend a day in bed together. This is what clinches it: spending 24 hours together and not getting bored is the moment when you go from being "sort of a couple maybe" to "this is definitely a thing." It might even be the first time he realized he was in love with you.
6. Whenever he doesn't get to see you after a long period of time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. That's it. That's all I have to say about this one.
7. When you give him a mind-blowing orgasm. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. But the way to his stomach is through his penis. So, like, transitive property, you can make him fall in love with you more by coaxing the love out of his penis.
8. When you're there for him when he needs you most. Whether he just lost his job or made it through a particularly crushing NFL season, he appreciates you being there even if you don't understand why he's so upset (OK, especially if you don't understand why he's so upset).
9. After your first huge fight. Most couples have that moment where they really have to make the decision to put in the effort the relationship is going to need to work, and that oftentimes comes after a big fight. While the fight itself may not have been so fun, knowing that you're both willing to fight it out and see things through to the other side just solidifies his feelings for you.
10. Any time you have one of those Perfect Couple Days. It's different for everyone, but every couple has those days where everything just aligns and they have a blast together, whether they're out hiking, or staying in and having a horror movie marathon. These are the days he keeps in the back of his mind for whenever he's annoyed at you.Read More
Cheating is definitely one quick, big way to absolutely annihilate a relationship, but as a recent Ask Reddit thread pointed out, there are plenty of other things that are much more potent when it comes to ruining even the strongest of bonds. Some of the worst things that lead to a breakup (that aren't cheating) start out small and indiscernible, and that's what makes them so dangerous.
Even if you're doing it out of love to protect their feelings, keeping little things from someone you're dating can grow into a big problem and cause trust issues that wreck a relationship. As canada432 wrote, "You should be able to tell your partner pretty much anything. If you're hiding something because it would hurt them, then you probably shouldn't do that thing in the first place."
Whether affection means being really touchy-feely, asking each other intense questions about meaningful things, or helping each other through obstacles, being absent and unaffectionate can cause the kind of doubts in a relationship that end up being irreparable.
As VoxMeretricis wrote, "by the time resentment is expressed, the damage is already done" to the relationship. It starts out quietly but becomes something big over time, which is what makes it so damaging.
This doesn't mean not texting all day every day, but failing to talk to each other about things that bother you when they come up, or conveniently leaving out details that you think might cause problems. All that shit just gets bottled up or revealed eventually, and by the time that happens, it's usually unmanageable.
This is just another way of saying "refusing to compromise." If you like somebody, you should be willing to compromise. Partners who can only handle things if they go a certain way (their way) are basically just in relationships with themselves.
Sure, the argument you always have about whose turn it is to take the trash out seems like no big deal now, but that's the sort of thing that just becomes a great issue over time, and even worse, becomes ammo for bigger, more serious arguments down the road.
Talking down to a partner is just another way of making yourself bigger or more powerful than them, and a power imbalance is the last thing you want in a lasting, healthy relationship. As messedfrombirth wrote, condescension is worse than cheating because "it makes your self esteem shit," so even after the relationship ends, you still feel the damage.
Whether it's because you don't want to disappoint your families with a breakup or because you have a big trip planned in six months, staying together just because you feel you should only leads to bitter resentment and an inordinate amount of fighting and heartbreak, when there was a chance you might've been able to remain friendly.
This is tricky because it's often so subtle, and you don't realize you're being manipulated by your partner (or doing the manipulating) until it's way too late. As reallybigleg wrote, "the relationships that have left me 'broken' (both of which I left, by the way, so this isn't a case of heartbreak...) have been through gradual loss of self esteem during the relationship through a process of manipulation by the other partner."
Even without actual cheating, just the suspicion that it's always happening can be much, much worse.
This can be as simple and small as pretending to like horror movies when you actually hate them, or as big as saying you're not looking for anything serious when, in fact, you are. It's best to be upfront from the get to, because those little things can become huge reasons to breakup over time.
"You're together because you're codependent and neither of you wants to be single," wrote beaverteeth92. Or in other words, you don't have chemistry anymore, and the only reason you're together is so you don't have to be alone.Read More