“I’m sorry, I apologise for what I did” is a simple phrase that anyone should be able to say without difficulty.
However, reverse is the case for most men who often find it hard to apologise.
Save for a minority, most women are quick to say sorry and have over time, learnt not to wait for an apology from their male partners.
Why do men find it hard to verbally apologise? Here are five reasons.
This is the most common reason men hold back apologies. Generally, men do not like to be seen as being weak enough to admit guilt.
Tendering an apology would mean acknowledging that they were wrong and this will put a dent on their ego.
Some things do not deserve an apology
Generally, women do not find it hard to apologise because they think an apology does not take so much from them.
This is different for men; to them, some things are just too inconsequential for an apology.
Actions speak louder than voice
Instead of saying “I’m sorry”, some men prefer to show their remorse by trying to please their partners.
They prefer to buy gifts and do a great deal of material-placating rather than tender a simple apology.
They want to share the blame
When one tenders an apology, the person is taking responsibility for something that went wrong.
Sometimes, a man does not want to take all the blame, he wants to share the blame so he withholds apology.
For example, when a couple disagrees and one party apologises, that person is deemed to be taking responsibility for the disagreement.
They want to avoid further blame
Women like to talk and in this age of women empowerment, a woman will take the first chance she gets at rubbing victory in a man’s face.
Add this to women that love nagging and you have the recipe for unending disagreement.
Sometimes, men do not apologise because they don’t want their partners to begin listing all the wrong things they have done in the past. They just want it to end there.Read More
Written by Buki Alamu
( this is not nonso shaa)
I was listening to the radio the other day and they were discussing the types of men you find in Lagos. It was an interesting topic. I can’t remember all the types of men that were discussed but one stayed with me – Nonso, the hustling hustler.
Nonso is the kind of man who takes up all kinds of odds jobs just to keep up lifestyle and appearances. Any vocation becomes his job and he is convinced he is making an honest living.
Honest, maybe but I doubt it’s sustainable. And it reminded me of how my father saved me from marrying such a man. Oh well, not that I would have anyway. I wasn’t looking at it from the unsettling hustling routine angle but from the angle that I didn’t even like the guy enough to claim to be in a relationship with him. I remember he was also so proud to show me off to his circle of friends who didn’t have a stable source of income like him. Whenever I was out of the country, he would deliberately call me when his friends were there just to convince them his girlfriend was in London or America. That wasn’t attractive at all. It only made me want to not see him again. But you see, I had met him through a friend and I didn’t want to insult him which I would have easily done. I didn’t want to hurt from friend.
But the day my father, while having a Saturday gist, asked me if I was seeing anyone and I explained to him in an uninterested tone, he wanted to understand what the problem was. I told him what ‘Nonso’ had claimed to be doing and he was so scared he said, thank God you are not interested. Cut the ties. That was easy for me to do, even easier to have as excuse for my friend who had introduced us.
Really, how does a man live on circumstantial living and hope to settle down with a decent woman? Those you slave in the offices still have their bad financial situations, talk less of mediocre hustling?
Seriously Nonso, get a life!Read More
5 Naija Women Tell Us How They Moved On After A Heart Wrenching Breakup
Moving on after a breakup, especially with a man that a woman loves can be very difficult. For some ladies, it takes them days to get over it, while it may take months or years for others.
Meanwhile, it may be so hard for some women that they never get over it. 5 women share their breakup experiences and how they moved on with us.
I dated a guy while in school. We were so in love that some people called me by his name. Meanwhile, at a time, I started suspecting he was dating the younger sister of a hostel mate who came on a visit, but he always denied it.
However, I got to his room one day to see them panting seriously as they scrambled to their feet on sighting me. I was so shocked and heartbroken.
I went back to my hostel and cried my heart out. Moving on wasn’t so easy as people who knew us together were still calling me by his name even after we broke up. It was until after he graduated that I really got over him.
Breaking up with a doctor guy I dated was sudden and unexpected because we were friends for almost a year before we started dating. It was after a misunderstanding that he told me he was no longer interested. I begged and cried, telling him we could resolve it amicably but he said no.
The most painful thing he did was deleting me on BBM, 12 hours after he broke up with me. It was like a dream and I didn’t believe he could do that. Eventually, I realized we were done when I called him later that week and he said ‘who is this?’
Moving on was so difficult because I really loved this guy. It got to a stage that I started blaming God for not stopping me from dating him, (I know blaming God was stupid but when you are in such situations, you do and say stupid things).
I always cry inside of me anytime I think about Victor because I dated him for 7 years when he had nothing. Some years later I got to know he was married with two children. All the while when we were together, he never told me anything.
It was so painful that I almost called his wife to tell her about us but I realized it may break their home.
Moving on was really difficult because I thought we were going to be married as things started to get better for him. I don’t even think I’ve moved on sef, I think I’ll be fine when I get married because thinking about that experience makes me angry.
I didn’t like Deji when I first met him but after some time when he asked me out, I learnt he was a nice person. After about two months, Deji called me to say his spirit said we can’t be together. When he told me, it was like I didn’t hear well.
His sisters and aunty who later called me said they were surprised Deji had broken up with me as I was the first lady he introduced to them.
Moving on wouldn’t have been difficult if it was not when I started loving him that he broke up with me.
When my stupid ex-boyfriend traveled to Malaysia, he broke up with me. The stupid guy is now calling to tell me that he would have sent me the picture of the girl he’s dating now because his father needs a grandchild but he is scared of me.
Sincerely, I loved this guy and I was yet to get over him until he called me yesterday to tell me that rubbish. With this call, omo, I have moved on. I even warned him never to call me again.Read More
Its not everyday you see a Nigerian wedding being announced in New York Times, but this highly successful couple had their wedding in the top newspaper.
Below is their profile and the announcement:
Hameedat Temi Adeniji, the daughter of Oluwatoyin A. Adeniji and Lateph A. Adeniji of Arlington, Tex., was married Sept. 24 to Osifo Odili Akhuemonkhan, the son of Elizabeth A. Akhuemonkhan and Edward E. Akhuemonkhan of Abuja, Nigeria. The Rev. Donald Ours, a Roman Catholic priest, performed the ceremony at the Holy Trinity Catholic Church in Dallas. A traditional Nigerian Yoruba ceremony took place at Noah’s Event Venue in Irving, Tex., on Sept. 22.
The couple met in 2011 at Columbia, from which she received a law degree and he received an M.B.A.
The bride, 29, is known as Temi. She is a director in the international strategy and operations department at Warner Music Group, a record label based in New York, where she oversees day-to-day operations of international subsidiaries and evaluates expansion opportunities. She graduated from Princeton, and received a Master of Law from University College London.
Her father is a lawyer in Arlington. Her mother is an accountant for the Texas Health and Human Services Commission in Grand Prairie, Tex.
The groom, 32, is a vice president in the financial advisory group focusing on mergers and acquisitions at Lazard, the investment bank in New York. He graduated from the University of Maryland.
His mother, who is retired, was a vice principal at Amuwo Odofin Secondary School in Lagos, Nigeria. His father, also retired, was the group general manager of finance and accounts for Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, a government-run oil corporation in Abuja.Read More
The London Promoter bad guy Toba has proposed to his Ghanaian girlfriend Nana.
Nana the fashion entrepreneur before she received beautiful ring from her soulmate thought she was going on movie premiere titled “The Hidden Truth” at Curzon Cinema in Victoria with her girlfriends.
Nana was to meet Toba to celebrate his birthday with him but it all turned out to be a wonderful night for her as her boyfriend of 5 years pop the question..
Toba said this below:
“Started from a Facebook message in 2011, then on Sunday 25th 2016, you agreed to marry me. I knew I found my soul mate the moment I saw you for the first time all those years ago Nana. Thank You For trusting in me… Now let’s go show them how to get married in style #NanaToba2017Read More
The Founder and Presiding Bishop of Living Faith Church World Wide, Dr David Oyedepo has added a year to his age.
To celebrate him today, his wife Pastor Faith Oyedepo on her IG page shared a heartwarming message for the darling hubby.
The lovely words are;
Happy 62nd Birthday to my Wonderful husband! Sixty two (62) years ago, on this particular historic day, saw the birth of a great giant. A man predestined by God to liberate mankind from the oppressions of the devil. A man with unwavering faith and devotion to God, the Kingdom and his family. One that has proven beyond reasonable doubt to be an exemplary leader, a visionary, mentor, prophet, father and friend; one whom I am privileged to be married to.
Today on this extra special day, I celebrate you my husband, the love of my life … the passion of my heart … my friend … my companion … my husband … my lord. I cannot stop thanking you for coming into my life and showing me the God kind of love. With you, I have learnt more than I imagined. You’ve helped me to see that there is so much more to believe in. You have loved me so dear and opened my eyes to see new possibilities in unearthing my potentials.
Together, God has enabled us to raise enviable children who are all now Kingdom giants in our lifetime to His glory! You are an unparalleled man of valour. Surely, the grace of God will keep multiplying upon your life and ministry in new and greater dimensions in Jesus’ name. Life has become extra special since you entered my world.
Every day I awake renewed by the thought and constant echo of your love! Many men have done valiantly, but thou, my husband, my darling, the husband of my youth, excellest them all. We shall yet do greater things for God and His Kingdom! Congratulations and happy birthday darling husband, father, friend, teacher, mentor and lover! #Papa62Read More
Welcome to Nigerian campuses where little girls are practising 'wifely functions'!
Just visit the boys' hostels and you would be disappointed to find out that it is now common for a girl to live in with a course mate. It is now common for her lover to give her the popular compliment 'you look sexy my gal' and she would gladly reply 'thank you honey' with a flirty voice and a romantic smile. Who is her lover? A 300 level student whose CGPA is barely up to 1.78! And they are aiming for the next best couple award for the session by the departmental association. So, the girl need to live with him to prepare along.
What nonsense! It seems that some girls suddenly loose their senses immediately they gain admission. I've seen that some of them have no more sense of caution, honour and dignity. They would change their wardrobes and acquire a new set of make ups just to look
'campussy' and sexy enough for the guys. In months, they would start sleeping around with little boys. I mean boys who collect pocket money from their uncles! Dirty boys who most of the time are infected with sexually transmitted diseases. Hey! I want you to know that you were sent to school to obtain a degree not a disease. The campus is called a school; school not sex! You are on campus to receive education not expulsion. You are here to master the use of a pen not the pleasures of a joystick. Wake up girl! Do some thinking. Your future is greater than the 'best couple award'. You cook for a boy you are more intelligent than.
You give your virginity to a boy who will definitely leave you after graduation. You play wife to a boy who cannot even care for himself. Oh, you have given too much. Enough! Open your eyes! Can't you see you're being foolish?
You are passing through the fears of unwanted pregnancies yet you are opening your legs to a coward who cannot stand before your father. And when you eventually gets pregnant, he would brutally advise you to abort it and you would timidly agree; then face the consequences later. What a shame! You may master the use of condoms but you can't master the punishment of your conscience. Don't you know you are bringing shame to your family? Don't you know that you are cursing your mother by accepting to sleep with a boy (not even a man) without her consent?
I cautioned a girl against sleeping around and she replied 'Sheddy, I don't sleep around; its only one boyfriend I have and am faithful to him'. What impunity! That's classified harlotry. And don't you know that sleeping with a man without your father's blessings is bringing a curse to your future?
What happened to your cultural values?
Somewhere in your heart you know he would use you and dump you; so why are you setting up yourself for a heartbreak? I want to remind you that you are a lady and one day you may get married. And your husband would know that you are such a dirty Dam who sleeps with anything on trousers. The greatest gift a lady would give to her husband on the wedding night is her virginity less lost it out of (rape) not the certificate of best couple of the year on campus!
The other gifts for the rest of her life are her
care and character not her curves and
complexion! Real men know this; so, get it screwed in! Those treacherous boys would call you 'sexy' and you would answer? Oh, sorry! They touch your breast and you would smile? They would ask you out and you would oblige? Oh, you are
indeed a mistake. I'm not saying that you should be rude or never live a 'social life' but I want you to think deeper than you are currently doing. I want to turn your attention back to your books.
You are not in school for breast exhibition. So, pay less attention to those boobs and give more attention to your books! You are not in school for cat walking show. You are rather here to show us the dignity of womanhood. You are here to prove to us that you are costly. So, why make yourself so cheap?
I am writing this with both love and pain in my heart and that's why am sounding stern. I know about two girls now that have been living with
their boyfriend since year one and as it is now they can't even even count how many abortions they had for that same boy at sch bae. it's now like a normal thing to them, the last one she did almost took her life and that made her bleed for 4 months, imagine how you do feel with ordinary 4 days of menstruation left alone living with it for months.. As a matter of fact one of them have damaged her fallopian tube due to excessive use of contraceptives she has taken to prevent pregnancy. I want you to look beyond now and think of what advise you would give your own daughter when you become a mother. I hope I have not offended you...if I have, please repent.
To the decent girls I have seen on campus: do not be swayed by these evil. Be consistent and keep celebrating your purity. I am always proud of you. And God is more proud of you.
....... . Thanks.
Bernice Cryout(Voice of Inspiration)
400Level Department of Nursing,
Nnamdi Azikiwe University
â€œWe do not want riches, we want peace and loveâ€- Red Cloud. The quote of Red Cloud has justified the story of Adaeze that we will read and profound a solution to.
I am Adaeze a 200 level student in the department of Sociology and Anthropology in one of the Federal University in Nigeria. Just like some student on campus I nurtured the dream of coming out of school successful.
In the quest for seeking knowledge from people that know more than I do, I got caught at the love web of Sam who graduated as a Sociologist but currently waiting for employment.
Before we started dating, he comes to my school and held tutorial classes for those in my department and helps us out with one or two assignment.
I was glad that someone can actually explain to our own understanding what the lecturer taught that seemed difficulty. With that I started seeking more of his help in my assignment and receiving some explanations on any topic after he is done with the tutorial class.
Unaware of his keen interest in me, I continued meeting him for help until he professed his love saying, â€œAda you have won my heart, you are different from other girls I have met, you are intelligent and always eager to learn, you are beautiful, caring and have good manners. Baby words cannot explain how much I love you. Please accept me into your life.â€
Just like a bomb blast I received this words from Sam. It did not take me time to accept his proposal because of his personality and owing to the fact that I love everything about him. We started hanging out from time to time visiting each other houses, going to church and market together and so on.
Our 5 years relationship started to develop cracks when he started demanding for sex from me on several occasions that we are together but instead I refuse doing it. He stopped calling, texting and coming around my apartment to check on me. If I call he will either hang the call on me or shout at me.
I love Sam so much but it is quite unfortunate that I cannot do what he wants from me because of my Christian fate and he does not want to see reasons with me. I donâ€™t want to lose him. I want the peaceful co-existence and love that we both shared. Please what should I do to win my man back?
1. Whenever you make him laugh. If all the Facebook posts my friend's mom shares are true, then Marilyn Monroe once said, "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything." The same applies to guys too. I guess some women can make guys do anything even if they can't make them laugh, but it's still better if you can make them laugh, honestly.
2. When you fall asleep on his shoulder. This is easily on the list of "Top 5 Things Guys Would Call 'Adorable' Even Though Guys Seldom Use the Word 'Adorable' and Also the Word 'Seldom.'" I wouldn't want to read that list though.
3. When you give back one of his sweatshirts. Don't steal them. Someone who knows how to borrow ... that's the kind of person guys fall in love with.
4. When he wakes up next to you and realizes how lucky he is. He does this more often than you know, but then he goes back to sleep for three hours, and you wake up and get mad at him for sleeping through brunch.
5. The first time you spend a day in bed together. This is what clinches it: spending 24 hours together and not getting bored is the moment when you go from being "sort of a couple maybe" to "this is definitely a thing." It might even be the first time he realized he was in love with you.
6. Whenever he doesn't get to see you after a long period of time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. That's it. That's all I have to say about this one.
7. When you give him a mind-blowing orgasm. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. But the way to his stomach is through his penis. So, like, transitive property, you can make him fall in love with you more by coaxing the love out of his penis.
8. When you're there for him when he needs you most. Whether he just lost his job or made it through a particularly crushing NFL season, he appreciates you being there even if you don't understand why he's so upset (OK, especially if you don't understand why he's so upset).
9. After your first huge fight. Most couples have that moment where they really have to make the decision to put in the effort the relationship is going to need to work, and that oftentimes comes after a big fight. While the fight itself may not have been so fun, knowing that you're both willing to fight it out and see things through to the other side just solidifies his feelings for you.
10. Any time you have one of those Perfect Couple Days. It's different for everyone, but every couple has those days where everything just aligns and they have a blast together, whether they're out hiking, or staying in and having a horror movie marathon. These are the days he keeps in the back of his mind for whenever he's annoyed at you.Read More