Ace comedian Ali Baba on his Instagram page, shared his opinion on people who enter relationships with only sex, money or power to offer.
People who have only sex to offer are the ones who get jealous, suspicious and quarrelsome. You know why? Because they know that you might go out one day and find someone who has more than sex to offer. So what does that leave them? So they start to put their spouse in the defensive. Go take a critical look at most of those relationships where the guy or babe has only one thing to offer, they will keep talking of security. They want reassurances always. Tell me you love. Promise you will not leave me. Are you sure you are not playing with me? Am I the only one in your life? Do you really love me? Are you tired of this relationship? Do you still love me? …. blah blah blah!
When all you have is a hammer everything is a nail. That is what sums up these kind of people. That explains why they get so angry when you are away from them for so long. Their only stake in the relationships needs to be activated regularly to remain relevant in the scheme of things and in their spouses thoughts. That also explains why many who marry because the sex is good, find out later that good sex doesn’t pay bills. Neither does it cook, run the home, guarantee respect, make your spouse a person you can rub minds with and not skin.
You see you may not know it, but I will tell you, you may be extremely beautiful. That is good. But like sex, if that beauty is all there is to you, in the relationship, the day that beauty is discounted by someone else who has brain and beauty body and cooking skills, with a good dose of home management, last last na modeling agency go need you. So you are a guy, and all you have in your value proposition brief case is muscles. Hiaaaaam. No common sense. Nothing else. So Iet’s look at the sex sef… after a while, its bargaining value in the relationships could diminish.
When that happens what will be your new bargaining chip? Same goes for cash. I know a top society lady who married a big time Lagos big boy, when she knew he was in bad times, she vamoosed! And went to kids for another man. How could she? She could, and she did. Some people too, if the marry you because of your Dad’s political office, when the term of office is running out, they run out too
This should be your major project that you are constantly working on. If you're not, there's really nothing I can say that's going to keep you safe in a relationship. If you are not upgrading yourself, you'll lose a girl sooner or later to a guy who is.
That's simply the reality of the world.
There are exceptions to this, of course - if you live in a small rural town in the middle of nowhere where no one is really into self-improvement and everything always stay the same, you may remain unimproved and your woman will still stick with you. But for most people, in most parts of the world, investing in yourself and continually improving and upgrading yourself is one of the strongest signs to women that you're a winner and a good pick for the long term.
That doesn't have to mean you're making 400,000 a year this year and 4,000,000 a year next year. It could mean that you're reading a lot of new books and learning a lot about topics that are interesting to you. It could mean you're taking some fascinating new classes on languages or technical skills. It could mean you're starting your own website or writing your own book. It could mean you're learning a new sport, art, or hobby.
Point is, you need to be focused on YOU first, If you aren't interested in yourself, it's going to be pretty tough to find a girl who's interested in you.
Aside from that, always be working on being an attractive, powerful, respectable man. Be fair, but strong. be just, be kind, don't supplicate, be sexy, let other women want you - don't be afraid to flirt.
Meanwhile, stay secure.
Don't lie to women - women can smell a liar a mile away, and nothing makes a woman more insecure than a man who's scared to tell her the truth. At the same time, do let her know what you really want with her - don't hurt a girl by concealing your real motivations. Give her the right expectations about you, then meet those expectations, the number one complaint I hear from women is that men promised them one thing, then failed to deliver. Don't be that guy.
Don't be a lapdog, but do be reliable. Don't kiss up - women know that men who are kiss ups are there one day and gone the next. It's better to be the man who's a little reluctant to help, who then dives in and gives it his all, than the man who's eager to help, but doesn't actually provide that much when he does.
Finally, watch out for ultimatums and get to the bottom of them when you find them. Resolve fighting in a relationship whenever it surfaces, then and there. Don't let questions and doubts linger and fester - force resolution when problems occur, rather than pushing them off to get worse and force your girlfriend to try and solve them on her own - say, by taking a lover and be ready if you can't meet her needs to let her go - time is a lot more important to women than it is to men. As a man, your value only increases as you age - hers drops. If you can't give her what she wants - children, ultimately - put aside the selfish desire to keep her for companionship and intimacy, and release her to go find a man who can.
To prevent cheating in your girlfriend, the first thing you need to change in your mindset: it isn't "Must stop cheating!" Rather it must become "Must inspire love, satisfaction, and a desire to remain faithful."
You can't stop a man from committing a crime if he feels he must. But you can help him have such a good life that he doesn't need to, and doesn't have any desire to
Let's examine some common thoughts you might have and what they mean (and what you can train yourself to think instead).
Thought 1: Fear of Cheating
"Oh no! What if my girlfriend cheats on me?"
Means: either you don't know what she wants or needs, or you do and you know you aren't giving it to her.
New thought: "What I'm actually afraid of is that I might not be giving my girlfriend what she needs to stay faithful. I need to sit down and examine my strength - does she see me as a strong, powerful man or is she starting to be dismissive and disrespectful toward me? And I need to examine my security - does she feel secure in this relationship with me, or is she starting to act erratic?
Finally, I need to examine whether she's giving me ultimatums: has she started feeling like the relationship has stalled out and is becoming an obstacle to reproduction?"
Thought 2: Desire to Control
"I've got to keep other men away from my girlfriend/I've got to keep an eye on my girlfriend."
Means: you don't trust your girlfriend. You know she's unsatisfied with you and may be running around or you're phobic of cheating (same as people can be phobic of spiders or public places).
New thought: "If I'm really this concerned that my girlfriend is cheating, there's a good chance I'm with a woman who isn't a good match for me. For instance, if I stay home all the time and she's always out partying, I need to realize she's probably meeting guys at these parties and I'm not providing the kind of lively relationship she likely most enjoys. I probably ought to be dating a girl who's more of a 'homebody' like me."
Thought 3: Fatalism / Victimhood
"Oh, why is the world so cruel as to contain something so terrible as cheating?"
Means: you're trapped in a victimhood mentality that prefers complaining about problems to fixing them or getting out of problem situations.
New thought: "This is stupid. Why am I sitting here complaining to the walls of my bedroom? It's time for me to figure out why women cheat, build myself into a man that most women won't cheat on, and look for women least likely to stray to have in relationships."
Those are the thoughts you should fight with all of your might. If you catch yourself with any of these thoughts running through your head, don't automatically accept them as an objective assessment of the world. They aren't, they're your own subjective emotional responses that are in need of some readjustment if you want to actually have what you want and not wish you could have what you want.
To prevent cheating in your girlfriend, you have to :
1. Become what women want in a relationship
2. Select women most likely to remain faithful when searching for a girlfriend
The one million dollar question is how do I know that a woman I want to date will be faithful?
Share Your views, Drop your Comment.
To all the silent reader in d house u would love this
Right now, you're probably starting to feel like learning how to prevent cheating is an impossible battle. "Okay, so all I've got to be is not weak, not insecure, and not let her reach the place where she feels like she has no choice but to rebel... how am I supposed to do all that?"
Relax. It isn't as hard as it seems. Your girlfriend isn't looking for the perfect man, trust me, she isn't. Somewhere out there on Planet Earth, there's a man better than you in every single way:
• He's smarter than you
• He's better looking than you
• He's more charming than you
• He's better with women than you
• He has a better career than you
• He's wealthier than you
• He's cooler than you
...and all the rest. But this guy's virtually no threat to you if you run your relationship right. Why? because of the level of effort involved in constantly changing partners.
We've looked at the effort on here as it applies to attraction in The Law of Least Effort. But effort isn't
only an important component of attraction - it's important in all things in the universe.
Air molecules head toward lower pressure zones where they can move about with the least amount of effort (causing wind). Continents slide in the direction they encounter the least amount of resistance (causing continental drift) and human beings select the best quality mate they can reliably get with the least amount of additional expended effort. Sure, you could spend a lifetime looking to constantly find that person who's 1% or 2% better than the mate you've got right now but that'd be terribly inefficient from a mate selection standpoint - and people would rarely if ever reproduce.
A branch of humans that favored mate quality over effort expended to get quality mates by too great a factor would soon die out, overrun by that branch of humans that selected its mates more efficiently. what all this means is that you don't have to be perfect - you just have to be good enough.
• You have to be a dominant man just enough that your woman remains attracted to you.
• You have to stay out of auto-rejection and promote self-expansion in your relationships just enough that your woman feels secure with you.
• And you have to make sure that your woman never feels like things have stalled out, starts feeling trapped or desperate, and begins acting out to force you to make the decision for her.
For each guy reading this article, one of those is going to be more difficult than the rest. Maybe it's hard for you to learn how to be a strong guy, attract women and earn their respect.
Maybe it's hard for you to learn how to be a secure guy and inspire women's trust and confidence.
Maybe it's hard for you to learn how to move things forward toward children, or it isn't something you want to do right now.
No matter which of those you find hard right now – or even if you find all of them difficult - you can change that... if you want to.
If maintaining relationships is truly important to you, If you really care about how to prevent cheating, and you want to fix things the right way, because, easy fixes aren't easy - and they don't exist,
either, It's impractical to move your girlfriend to a desert where the two of you are the only human beings and she doesn't have any other options for cheating if she gets fed up with you, after all You've got to make her want to be with you.
The Cupid Series Continues Tommorow, drop your comments and share your views.
Most people - men and women - become so invested in their relationships that they find it hard to leave. If you're like most people, you don't just pick up and go from a relationship you've invested in for 6 months, a year, or more - there's too much seemingly at stake.
• What if you can't find someone else as good as this person?
• What if this was The One for you?
• What if you're alone forever after you break up?
• What if what you thought was a problem actually wasn't and you made a huge mistake?
Questions like these plague people facing a potential break up and make it difficult or impossible for many of them to make a decision and carry it through. So, they waffle, unhappily, one moment thinking they'll break up, the next that they'll stay together, and on and on, like a spinning top about to fall over but not sure which way, until something comes along to tip the balance one way or another. I call infidelity in this case women's attempt to "force change," but it's not actually a conscious choice. Rather, a woman in this position is stuck in such a terrible position - where she's unhappy with her current relationship, unable to get what she wants, but afraid to leave behind the investment she's already made – that she stays in a relationship she probably shouldn't until an
outside factor inevitably comes in to introduce a little more chaos into the equation. Then, she strays.
What happens? At this moment, the relationship reaches a crossroads: either her man is going to break up with her for her infidelity, reasoning that she's no longer what he wants in a partner, OR he's going to break emotionally, get upset, and give in to her ultimatum, giving her whatever she wants, so long as she doesn't stray from their relationship again. And before you say you'd NEVER be like that second guy... I've heard that before from plenty of men, who later went on to do exactly that. It's a lot easier to say you wouldn't than to walk away from a relationship you're highly emotionally invested in in a situation like that. I've spent some time dissecting it, and I've come to the
conclusion that women engaging in cheating like this that forces change with their partners is actually a smart adaptation.
Think about this: a woman's primary biological imperative is reproduction. But she's trapped in a relationship where she's highly invested in a man who now won't move things forward with her, toward fulfilling that objective.
• Just tough it out and stuff her wants and needs downdeep inside?
• Or should she break up with him and walk away?
Ideally, she doesn't want to do either. She's reached breaking point - she can't tough it out any longer (see: "The 2 Year Drop" ), but at the same time, this is a guy she liked a lot and invested in heavily and thought could give her what she wanted, and it'll be tough to find a
replacement who meets the qualifications he seemingly does.
So, rather than having to make a decision she can't possibly make, she forces him to make the decision... by straying.
Now it's on him to decide if he's going to step it up and give her what she wants, or step out and let her go. Either way, she's free of the burden of making such a difficult decision on her own, and can always say to herself,
"Well, I had no choice. He decided."
Totally unrelated from weak, and sometimes in contrast to it, is insecurity. No, not that you feel insecure (as in: unconfident), but rather that you make her feel insecure (as in: you might leave at any moment, aren't dependable or reliable). Insecurity's a fine line to walk. If you make a girl feel too
secure in a relationship, she'll start to get bored, and she'll come to resent you. But if you make her feel too insecure, she'll become neurotic, cause increasingly more drama, and eventually start tossing ultimatums at you. Most guys aren't perfect here, so here're the brief descriptions of where you fall on the chart:
• She tells you you're a nice guy and takes care of your emotions
• She seems entirely unthreatened at the prospect of other women around you
• She acts bored or tells you other people have more exciting lives
• She's constantly monitoring you - "Who called? What does she want?"
• She's perpetually suspicious of you - "Are you seeing anyone else?"
• She makes ultimatums - "You need to do this or I'm leaving!"
How to be more of a challenge (if you're too secure) is beyond the scope of this post. If there's demand for one on this topic, comment here or drop me a line to let me know and I'll see if I can get one up on this. But, basically, being too secure ties in with #1 up above – a man who's too secure will come to be seen as weak. So don't be too secure!
How about making women feel insecure though?
What happens when a woman feels insecure is that you drive up uncertainty, and thus inspire erratic behavior. She's in conflict with herself. One minute she's thinking about how much she loves you, you're such a strong man. The next minute she's thinking about how you can't give her the certainty she needs, you're no good for her, and she should find someone safer.
The result of all this? She starts making rash, emotional decisions, impulsivity goes up... and fidelity goes down and when you're not willing to give in to her ultimatums, made as an effort to gain greater security,she forces change
Olga, the mother of Mikel's twin daughters, took to her IG page minutes ago to celebrate their love. Recalling how she met him at her parents house 5 years ago and how they went on their first date a year after, she wrote:
"Five years ago today you walked into my parents house and into my life. A year later on that exact day we went on our first date, you are persistent @mikel_john_obi. I am so lucky to share my life with you and our precious little peanuts. Love you #March29 #pooh1 #pooh2 #pooh3 #pooh4"
More polite women will reassure you they don't think this way, but women absolutely, positively detest weakness in men. They can't stand it. And the more beautiful and in-demand a woman is, the more she loathes weakness in men.
You must be strong with your woman. It's utterly, completely tantamount to remaining attractive to her.
You can have a saggy beer gut, be making $10 an hour at the gas station, have lost most of your hair, and wear beat-up old stained clothes, but if you are STRONG she will WORSHIP the ground you walk on.
Conversely, you could look like an Adonis, drive the most expensive sports car on the planet, wear nothing but Gucci and Prada, and live in a penthouse suite next to Central Park in downtown Manhattan, but if you are WEAK around her she will DESPISE you.
Why? Why is strength so completely, utterly, vitally important to women?
1. The strength of her mate determines the strength of her offspring, and
2. The strength of her mate determines her likelihood to survive and her offspring's likelihood too
A lot of the things women hate are actually hardwired responses to drive them away from men who will provide them with weak offspring that will do less well at passing on their genes or will negatively impact their chances of surviving in the world.
Imagine a cavewoman from 20,000 years ago has babies with that guy in the group that nobody respects and always gets his mammoth steak snatched away by the bigger, cooler cavemen. Think her kids with him stand a better-than-average chance of passing her genes on to future generations, or a worse-than-average chance?
Now imagine a cavewoman from 20,000 years ago has babies with the tribal leader of the group, whom everyone loves and respects and makes offering of cave bear kabobs to whenever there's a cave picnic. Think her kids stand a better- or worse-than-average chance of passing on her genes? Of course, right? The woman who breeds with the strong man has strong children with higher odds of successfully mating with other strong children; the woman who breeds with the weak man has weak children who end up mating with other weak children or don't end up mating at all.
Thus, women end up avoiding weak men as much as men avoid fat women. Weak men are to women what fat women are to men: the ultimate turn off. Except, there are some guys who really dig fat chicks... but there are NO women who really dig weak guys. They may end up tossing these guys in the friend zone, where they can still help the woman out by providing her resources and upping her survival odds without her having to actually risk mating with them, but even then they usually don't want
to spend too much time with them.
The cupid series continues tomorrow, Drop your comments and share your viewsRead More
One of the fantastic things about being a man is that women (well, MOST women) only cheat in reaction to you.
Unlike men, who stray from otherwise committed relationships simply because they ran into a hot woman, women don't normally stray from a relationship because they saw a hunky slab of man meat that they simply had to sink their fingernails into, they might occasionally describe it that way, but the actual emotional motivation is different from men's.
women ultimately boil down to one of three (3) possible reasons for infidelity:
1. They've come to believe that their man is weak and unworthy of siring their offspring,
2. They've come to believe that their man is untrustworthy and will fail to support their offspring, or
3. They've hit a wall and are unable to get progress in the relationship, so they act out to force change.
I won't spend much time going into why cheating revolves around reproduction, any more than to say that the
entire reason that romance, dating, sex, marriage, relationships, and any of that stuff exists is so humans can reproduce. All of it evolved to further human reproduction - making babies - and that's what it all eventually revolves around.
we would have a brief look at each of these three rationales tomorrow on the next episode of Cupid, Drop your comments and share your views
Relationship can be difficult to maintain especially when you’re still trying to determine whether the relationship is fixable.
a break in a relationship is not just about the separation, bounce back, proceeding onward or living joyfully among others. The memories of the breakup can be devastating.
You need to think it through before you choose to release or welcome your ex back in your life. Here are 8 absolutely brain storming questions you need to ask yourself before you give another opportunity to your ex.
1. The reason for your breakup
There can be unlimited purposes behind separating and some of them can be truly senseless. You need to examine what led you the break up over and over again. You need to consider if they are really worth your coming back together.
2. Reasons for wanting you back
You need to know why he or she wants you back. This is similarly vital for you to know the unmistakable purpose behind needing you back in their lives. You need to know if there is no mischief behind the second chance they are asking for.
3. Don’t get deceived by words, look at expressions
It is better for you not to get over excited about a second chance from your ex because you have to consider the motive when he/she approached you for another opportunity. Are they truly attempting to accommodate or just playing around with you?
4. How serious were you two in the relationship
There is no point wasting time over a relationship. A relationship that is on and off does not worth a second chance. If you quarrel often and you two separated all of a sudden, then no need for another opportunity.
5. Do you still feel something or have you moved on?
There is no point considering giving your relationship another shot if you have both moved on.
6. Is there still trust?
A relationship without trust is as good as building on a bad foundation. However, similarity and trust resemble two columns for a relationship.
7. How did they react after the breakup?
Before you bounce to any conclusions, do some historical verification on their life after separation. You can converse with regular companions who were in contact to know truly about their activities.
8. Would you both be able to adjust?
You have to think well before doing anything. Regardless of the possibility that she needs you back, things will not phenomenally turn for good after both of you get back together.Read More