A relationship isn’t all about sex, it’s also about companionship. And if your partner is boring, that’s not going to work.
We’ve all been there: you are on a date and there’s nothing to talk about. They’ll stare at their phone, the menu, their wine glass — anything but you. And when they do finally speak, they kind of say nothing at all.
"If she only talks about her pets and her favorite TV show, or all they do is drink, or talk about drinking... boring!" says one man. "Resting bitch face is boring," another man added. Basic, too.
But a lot of men have a really strong feeling about what makes women boring, and if he senses it, he can't proceed with her. For most men, it's simply not having a life. Sure, they want you to be into them and their interests, but have something going on in your own life. Care about your job, your hobby, your dog, your friends. That way you have something interesting to bring to the table on your next date.
Here's what makes women boring, according to men themselves.
"It's the give and take of relationships where women see I'm good at listening but then never actually listen or allow me to talk or vent."
"My motto is to discover, learn and experience life. I want to learn something no matter how trivial. So a woman who just wants to punch the clock and never deviate from her everyday routine would bore me. I like a woman who has an open mind and wants to challenge herself and me in discovering new things intellectually, socially, culturally, and sexually. Someone who thinks they know it all and has no interest to expand their mind would bore me. I like someone who embraces new experiences and not afraid to get out of the comfort zone."
"Another boring female thing? Cyphers. Meaning that they take on your personality and interests and likes. If I wanted to date myself, I'd date myself."
"A woman who is attracted to a man but won't have sex with them on a first date when they are eventually going to do it anyway... What are you waiting for? Boring."
"Ironically, what makes women boring to me is only wanting to spend time with me doing traditional couple things. I prefer someone who wants to spend time with other people, both with me or without me, and always has something interesting going on. As long as it's not an affair!"
"A woman who talks for 40 minutes about themselves on a date? That's boring."
"It becomes incredibly boring when I become a partner's hobby. There are likely guys who are totally OK dating a groupie and I appreciate wanting someone who is your number one fan. However, not having interests other than your partner becomes stale very fast. Being interested and passionate about things (as long as they're not some basic-ass interests) makes a person tremendously interesting."
"While a woman might have an exciting life on Instagram or be someone special in a virtual world, if she can't keep off of her phone in real life, she'll come across as boring. No guy wants to have to constantly deal with awoman who can't put her phone down long enough to enjoy real life adventures."
"The one thing that always wears me down and has me reaching for the eject button are women who find a way to complain (or just generally bring negative energy) about everything. I totally understand that misery loves company, and that complaining is easy/relatable common ground. But there is a point that I realize 'Damn, she doesn’t have one good thing to say about anything.' And instantaneously, I know exactly what is going to come out of her mouth before she even says it. Curiosity is attractive. Negativity is boring."
"What makes a woman boring? Lack of depth, work, siblings, memories, current movies are all great and can make for great conversation, but are not necessarily stimulating. Motivations, personality traits, things learned (or not), character's perspective or history make for non-boring (though that's probably true of men too)."
Let’s be completely honest, we all think it’s cute when we see what I call a ‘TnS’ couple. A.k.a tall and short couple. It always seems so nice because the guy always seems like this huge blanket sheltering his woman from harm. Yea right We all agree it’s true, in fact every
short petite lady hopes to land a tall, handsome sexy dude that will make all her trouble go away and the tall guys well at least some of them, love to have a petite woman they can easily lift off the ground and take care of. Not to be a kill joy but in that bubble of happiness, there are some awkward embarrassing moments you can’t avoid. Especially for the short, pardon me, PETITE ladies.
Can you relate? Which one did we miss?Read More
They say that dreams are windows to our subconscious and it turns out sex dreams are no exception.
Sex dreams, especially ones involving “doing it” with a person you would never, ever want to see naked in real life, can be quite disturbing.
If we dream that our teeth are falling out, we look for some deeper meaning, usually something involving debt or vanity, but waking up after a sex dream is a completely different story. Guilt and panic are our immediate reactions, fearing that our relationship is doomed and that we must be subconsciously in love with our boss.
Don’t panic. It turns out that sex dreams have absolutely nothing to do with sex, sex dreams are rarely ever about actual sex. Sex dreams are about union, the coming together of different, conflicting parts of yourself. Because I believe that everyone in your dream represents some aspect of yourself.
But if you break down even the weirdest sex dream, you'll discover there are clues inside them to help you live your best waking life. Here are six common sex dreams and what they really mean:
Sex With an Ex
No, it doesn’t mean you want to get back together. If you have a risque dream about your ex, don’t pick up the phone. It most likely means that you’re still processing some unfinished feelings about him or her. If you are with someone new, the ex sex dream might signify fears you are having about your new relationship and or the resurgence of the types of feelings you felt with your ex. Pay close attention to the nature of the sexual experience and how you felt during the dream, as it will give you insight into what type of unfinished feelings you have about your ex.
Having sex with someone of the same sex
If you are not homosexual in your waking life, but dream of having sex with someone of the same sex, it’s about your self-esteem. Depending on how the dream plays out, this same sex dream is about loving parts of yourself that you’ve been less than accepting of. Homosexual sex with a friend may be a commentary about some rift between you, insecurities about the friendship, or some quality or talent they have that you emulate. Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you secretly want to sleep with your best friend.
Although you might really want to have sex with Chris Attoh or Genevieve Nnaji in real life , there may be more to your wild sex dreams about them. Dreaming about getting it on with a celebrity is all about your desire to attain more fame, fortune, recognition or bolster your social status.
Having sex with a friend
Most of us dream about having sex with a friend at some point in our lives. It does not mean however that we are sexually attracted to them. Our friends are very close to us emotionally, and these types of dreams often come about to help you see there may be some personality traits your friend has that you unconsciously wish you had as well. Think about what it is you most admire in your friend, and how you could bring out this quality in yourself. A romantic rendez-vous with a friend could also suggest it is time to make up if you have recently had an argument.
Having sex with your boss
Sex dreams are rarely about sex at all, they’re more about the psychological union between you and a particular person that your unconscious has united you with. In this case, it’s your boss. Ask yourself what it is about him/her that might appeal to you. There may be some aspect of yourself you see in your boss that you wish to bring to the forefront. Because they’re the boss, there’s also a good chance this dream could be about leadership qualities – maybe it’s time for you to become more in charge of your life. The dream could also symbolize that it would be good for you to work closer with them. Perhaps there’s a project developing on the horizon, and it would do you good uniting on some level.
I highly urge you not to flip out if you dream of cheating or being cheated on by your partner. Chances are this dream is simply about anxieties or insecurities present in your relationship. If you are the one doing the cheating, you’re probably guilty about some residual issues. What kind of injury have you caused to your partner that you need to atone or apologize for? If you’re the one being cheated on in your dream, don’t go getting all suspicious. Look in the mirror, because this act of infidelity is not real, it’s all about your insecurities.
Who doesn’t like cuddling? Whether it’s the little child who can’t get enough of those warm kisses and hug in mama or papa’s embrace or that adult who just need some love, everybody enjoys been held in the warm embrace of someone who loves them. However, cuddling is extra sweet and delicious when it’s shared by two people who mutually crazy about each other. You will always feel good been cuddled by that boyfriend or wife whether you’ve only just said yes to each other or you’ve been at it for more than twenty years.
For those who are single, this is one of the things that make being a relationship very , very attractive and sometimes, it’s seeing to lovebirds cuddling and giving each other love that brings back memories of a lost loved one and that relationship that didn’t work out. One thing single folks miss a lot is the cuddling in relationships and for those who’ve never had a boo, you’re missing something (this is not an encouragement to rush. Just wait and it’ll be worth it).
There is some interesting and validating news about cuddling. It seems that cuddling is actually as good as it looks and feel because guess what? Cuddling actually has scientifically back benefits. Imagine that.
Benefits of cuddling
You get to release oxytocin, which is a natural hormone that triggers happy feelings and helps you connect with others, whenever you cuddle. When this happens, your body also releases stress and makes you feel more relaxed.
So as you snuggle in the bosom of that special person, your problems seem less burdensome, the world begins to look a little and you feel your confidence being restored to go out and do great things in the world. You cuddle and you just know everything will be alright.
You should cuddle more, you know?
It’s not unbelievable because it’s a fact; cuddling actually helps to relieve pain all thanks again to that wonder hormone, oxytocin. When you cuddle, your body releases it and it’s like miracles begin to happen. All those pain begin to get better and as your embrace get tighter, you feel warmer and more relaxed and in a couple of minutes or hours, you might be asking, “Where did all that pain?”
Who’s going to stop you from cuddling now?
You guessed it right – oxytocin again! When you’re next to that person, feeling joy and love, you’re getting some body boost. As oxytocin flows, it also helps your body to fight infections; boosting your immune system and setting things right, one hug at a time.
Cuddling doesn’t just make you feel good on the outside or in your head and heart, all your organs and your body system the love and they’ll all happy about it. So when you feel invincible, cuddling and snuggling next to that person, your body’s actually getting more invincible.
You know what this means; you should cuddling more and stay in there longer. It’s helping you get healthier!
When you cuddling, you feel better and when you feel better, probably in between some sweet words, you begin to think better thoughts and as you think better thoughts, those dark clouds of worry and anxiety begin to fade. Do you see how it works?
Even when you’re out and about, attending a function or social gathering, getting a hug from that friendly face can help to de-escalate that social anxiety that was building up. Suddenly, you find you’re no longer worried about how you’ll do in such a large gathering. You feel more confident and act more confident believing that you’re going to be fun and have fun at the party.
Makes Life Easier
Oxytocin is the magic wand, yes and once you release it through cuddling, many good feelings come flowing through you and as feel better, you feel happier. That means you get happier when you cuddle.
Cuddling is also a form of communication and you know how important communication is to relationships. When you touch, hug and cuddle after that conversation, after that fight, after a stressful day out or after that intimate time, you’re saying something to each other. You making it clear that you’re there for each and that no matter what happens, it’ll be fine because you’ll have each other. This is an encouragement and affirmation that really makes the burden of life easier. Apart from that, it’s a very intimate and personal time that you can share with your partner or loved one which signals that they mean something to you. Why wouldn’t things get easier.
My recommendation – cuddle like you take your daily supplements. You do just as much, anyway.
1. Praise and Approval
Men have egos. They need frequent reassurance about themselves, career paths, efficacy as partners and their attractiveness.
So ladies, let your praise loose. Tell your man exactly what you find attractive about him. Let him know what physical features of his are your favourites. Tell him how attractive you find it when he says something a certain way, when he accomplishes something, or when he takes you on a date. Your praise won’t make him cocky; it will help him feel loved.
Men feel respect as love. If he feels like you disapprove of him, his career, or the things that he believes to be integral to who he is as a person, he will have a hard time trusting and loving you.
3. Emotional Intimacy
From a very young age, men are taught to avoid appearing weak at all costs. Perceived “weakness” includes things like complaining, divulging fears or concerns, and expressing self-doubt or worry. If you dont take your man in your arms when he cries, he would be repulsive and not love you.
Suffocating a man (either by failing to allow him free time or with overly jealous behaviour) is the fastest way to end a relationship. Men need breathing room in a relationship.
5. Physical Touch
Men need frequent non-s*xual touch as well as a sense of s*xual connection. If a man’s partner comes up behind him and touches his neck and hair in a loving way while he sits absorbed in a task, he could feel just as loved.
Men and women are both attracted to certainty in a relationship. The more a man feels like his partner is in it for the long haul, the more ready and able he is to be able to open up to her (assuming he is equally invested in her).
Women do a lot with so little and if they are going to get any further, they need the help of the menfolk.
While it might not be so easy for one man in his corner to change the life of every woman on the face of the earth, you can do your own little bit to make life easier for that special woman in your life.
Here are 5 things that women need in their relationships:
Women need to be appreciated. This means telling them how much their presence and contribution in a relationship or in a family are valued. This should be expressed regularly, accompanied from time to time with gifts and other thoughtful gestures. Whenever the occasion arises, appreciation and praise should also be given publicly.
This will motivate her to do better and bring her joy.
Guys, don’t take that your wife or girlfriend for granted just because she finally said yes. Commit yourself to give her your attention; take time to notice and commend that new hairstyle, that glowing skin or the new dress.
This makes her feel that you still care about her and your relationship is still very connected. Knowing that she is still attractive to you makes her feel good. Don’t disappoint her eagerness to impress you or draw your attention by refusing to pay attention or refusing to acknowledge your observations.
Men need to know that women want them to talk. While this may not be a natural habit, a man who wants his relationship to florish must learn to communicate and express himself with his wife or partner. It is a healthy practice that also helps to prevent the woman in your from assuming and overthinking things
Women have a tendency to worry ; when a man is to too quite or secretive they begin to fill in the gaps with assumptions which makes them to be stressed and in turn brings uneasiness into the relationship. A woman likes it when her man discusses with her and expresses himself.
Women like to talk, they like to make connections and spend quality time with their loved ones. Women also like to be involved in affairs of those they care about, to share activities and experiences with them.
In order to make all these things possible, a man must learn to make time for his woman. This will bring her a satisfaction that brings out her best side and make your relationship deeper.
Don’t expect her to know or remember that you love her. Guys, that woman in your life needs to hear you say it over and over again. Don’t take it for granted.
Let her know how much you love her, the things you love about her, how you fell in love with, etc. Even if you can’t do that, always tell her you love her. Don’t assume that she knows or expect her to live on your past “ I love yous”; she needs to hear you say it regularly.
This makes her to know that the commitment and feeling her mutual and make her feel on top of the world.
Guys do not like predictability — at all. In fact, most of the time, they like to have someone who keeps them guessing and make them work for it.
Here are some weird ways you can make sure he’ll always remember your name… in a good or at least intriguing way.
1. Don’t reveal anything about yourself after brief flings, and usher him out as soon as you can.
Most guys assume that you are going to be looking to talk to him and be interested in his life. Some even assume that girls want a relationship with them, right off the bat. Instead of doing the normal thing, just shoo them out the door with little chit chat the first time or two you sleep with him. Then, slowly open up. More often than not, they will start trying to win you over, because they don’t know what to make of you.
2. Pull back when he starts to pull forward, but just by a little bit.
Some guys really melt at the thrill of the chase, and for those guys, pulling back can drive them insane. They’ll start to wonder what’s going on, what they can do to keep you around, and basically chase you around.
The funny thing is that some guys can’t handle that chase, and if you actually do lose interest, they will turn you into the “one that got away” in their minds.
3. Just be weird.
Honestly, being a wild card is the easiest way to get someone. Just being odd makes people wonder what you’ll do next, even if you’re relatively predictable.
4. Choose edgy or slightly scary date ideas.
If a guy lets you choose the date venue, choose something that would make him a little worried or scared. The reason this works is because studies show that fear often will provoke a response that makes someone feel like they’re falling in love. Interestingly enough, it works on men as well as it works on women.
5. Give him a little bit of worry about whether or not he can actually please you.
This one is risky, because it can backfire easily. The gist of this get method is simple: make him realize other guys are trying to get with you, too. Don’t flat-out tell him, but let him actually see other guys fawning over you. Your role in this is to seem mildly disinterested, which makes him feel privileged to be with you but not 100 percent certain on you.
6. Hold back on affection if he blows you off.
Mirroring men’s behavior towards you really messes with them. They often expect women to flood their phones when they pull back on them. They may even try to act huffy when you ask them to do something. Teaching him how to treat you by mirroring him will force him to either treat you well, or not treat you at all.
In reality, men are much less obsessed with the way you look or your status than you think and often, you are the one who is afraid of commitment … true commitment. Sure, maybe you’re thinking about getting married, buying a house, starting a family … but are you actually committed to him? Or do you just want to add some milestones to your Facebook timeline? Guys can tell, and they don’t want to be a pawn. They want to be listened to and loved like a man.
So here are the real reasons why men dump women, straight from them to you
1. You’ve become the clichéd “nag” without even realizing it
Men know they screw up sometimes. They forget that you have a “certain way” of arranging the dishes in the cupboards, they sometimes leave their shoes on in the house, they snore, they forget to put their dirty clothes in the laundry basket. But you need to lay off sometimes. It gets to them.
2. You don’t trust your man, and they get sick of explaining.
The worrier in you is there to protect you, but sometimes it can be your enemy. For instance, it can be your enemy when you turn every glance at a woman, every late night out, and every missed phone call into a potential cheating episode. When he tells you something, you need to have trust.
3. You drag up the past at every opportunity, and it gets to be too much.
Again, he has made mistakes. But who hasn’t? And no one wants to relive their mistakes again and again. Especially if he has already apologized many times, you need to learn how to leave the past behind.
4. You try to change them, whether you realize it or not.
They may never be that man who wears those shirts you love. He may never love wine tasting. You need to accept that and love him for who he is instead of who you want him to be.
5. You don’t listen.
Finally, men are sensitive. You may not think they are or that they just want to avoid talk of emotions, but they want you to listen. They want to have their feelings heard too.
Best selling author and on Air Personality, Toke Makinwa is in a relationship with a US-based businessman named Oluseyi Kuye.
The media personality who has been keeping her relationship with seyi off the media have showed off their matching Gucci shoes.
She shared the photo and wrote; “His and Hers”.
More photos after the cut
Pre marital sex, sex in general is usually a topic most Nigerians are not comfortable to discuss. Well not these women, here are Nigerian female celebrities who have taken a bold stand against pre-marital sex and are not ashamed to be open about it.
Yvonne orji a Nigerian –american actress in a speech “The wait is sexy” at a TEDx talk says she is against pre-marital sex. The actress said ‘for me at 33 the wait is powerful, discipline, its focus and keeps the main thing
If you are a fan of Toyo Baby in Jenifa’s Diary, you’ll notice that she is always speaking on sexual purity on all her social media accounts.
She was once quoted saying,
“God told me some years back when I never thought I will be an actress or be on TV, that he would open a door for me in the entertainment world and that when he does, I should talk about sexual purity, the message is simply this-being a virgin is not ‘old school’, it is actually trending!
I have a call and I have pledged with all my life, with God’s help that I will not stop being an advocate of purity no matter the opposition. Virginity and sexual purity must not and will not be history.”
After making headlines when she offered her virginity to Boko Haram in exchange of the Chibok abducted girls, Nigerian singer, Adokiye has always maintained that she is still a virginAlthough, many people don’t believe her, she maintains that she will only give it to the right person.
A lot of people are tagging me gay. I don’t blame them. It’s not easy to find a beautiful girl who’s still a virgin, especially in this tough period. The truth is, I love men, I adore them, I cherish them and got so much respect for them but my problem is, I haven’t found that somebody yet, to give my body and heart to. It doesn’t mean I am a lesbian or gay or what not.