“What will people say?” is one of the questions people ask themselves when they are about to do something such as calling off an engagement, but media personality, Destiny Amaka had to do it, knowing she deserved more.
She shared how she had to start again from the scratch.
Broken engagement is better than broken marriage. Paris 2011 he popped the question, I saw the ring, my mums face, my friends and family who flew in cheering for joy. The money that was spent, the effort from family and friends. No one would know the heated argument we had few hours before this pic was taken.
Fast forward few months, during the entire preparation for our traditional wedding, we weren’t speaking, but they will tell you its normal, it happens. Its not true! It takes immense courage to walk away from something you’ve been building for years. I was young, won’t say much.
@nickiminaj tweets few weeks back hit close to home. No regrets! No hate, I strongly believe he gave his best, and with that knowledge its up to you to determine whether their best is good enough for you.
According to this love guru, this is will ensure security and sanity for women in marriage.
Joro Olumofin says women should have an income of at least ₦150k before marriage, Joro Olumofin says.
The love doctor who thrives on Instagram with his relationships-and-marriage-centered platform believes that this is linked to the possible achievement of security and sanity in a marriage.
With a post on his Instagram page he says:
“If you're a single lady and you're not earning at least N150,000 a month you shouldn't be thinking about marriage yet. This is for your own security & sanity in marriage.
“Based on hundreds of emails I receive daily from posters. I've noticed a trend in behavior: Commitment before finances. Most ladies go into marriage with the hopes that the man will take care of everything."
Some even see marriage as their way out of responsibilities such as paying bills, etc.
"A lot of married women are unhappy in their homes but can't leave because they are not independent, some don't even have transport money to go back to their parent's house. Secure the bag first."
After reading this, what do you think about the relationship guru's advise, is it great or bad?
ways to have mindblowing sex despite your partner's average size.
One of the most recurrent themes about love, sex and lovemaking is the idea that the bigger the man, the more pleasurable the experience will be. But in reality, apparently, your partner's size does not affect lovemaking.
According to vlogger Uwanma Odefa, having a small organ will be only a problem in the sack only if you allow it. And for the partners who this applies to, 5 ways to have mindblowing sex despite your partner's average size
Skill makes all the difference. Even if a man is average or below average, with skill and deftness and careful maneuvering, the sex can be just as mindblowing as anything you've ever had.
Depending on the sex positions, you can make the best of the sex even if your partner's organ is not all that.
Check out for sex positions that will make the experience more satisfying, as opposed to the ones that will make the shortcomings obvious.
While men with huge sizes only depend on their girth and size, a man with an average sexual organ does not have this luxury.
To compensate for this and still attain the same level of pleasure required, there will be a need for extras.
The use of the fingers, tongue, introduction of sex toys and all that gives an extra edge to the sex and that should cover up for what he lacks in size.
4. Emotional involvement
A woman who is really into you will likely overlook your size so far you can still find a way to regularly help her achieve orgasm.
So be invested in the relationship, her wellbeing and her emotional stability and your size won't really matter that much, provided that you foreplay and other tips mentioned here are on point.
written by Ayoola AdetayoRead More
By Damilola Faustino
When you love someone very much, you want to do everything to make the person happy and you expect the same from the person in return. So naturally, if you get little or nothing in return, you begin to doubt if they actually love or care about you. It may be time to put your boo though a little test. You may need to relax or pullback in the relationship and create some distance, just to make them miss you a little. Here are ways to perfectly do this:
Think with your head, not your heart
One of the hardest things to do is to take the emotion out of something. But, if you want to pull back in a relationship, then separate your emotions and think about each situation rationally. Instead of chasing them when they blow you off, blow them off right back. Then they will take you seriously since they are aware that you can blow them off.
Do what you love often
If you want to back off in a relationship, then find the things that you love to do and let them distract you. If you are too wound up in a union, it is easy to make it the center point of your life. It creates a whole lot of drama that doesn’t need to be. Just for one day, do what you love and don’t give any thought to your significant other.
The best way to stop obsessing about a relationship that isn’t going exactly as you want is to find something else to occupy your time. Move over thoughts and anxiety surrounding your relationship. Distraction is the best medicine. Get lost in a book, hit the gym, or just catch dinner with a friend.
Focus on you by making a goal
If you want to know how to pull back in a relationship and create distance, then find a goal to focus on. Instead of focusing on a relationship that creates anxiety for you, find something else to throw all that wasted energy into.
Sit back and let them come to you
If you are always the one chasing them or wanting more, then it is time to take a back seat. There may be reasons to cross back and let them take control. But, if you really want to pull back and create distance, then set boundaries for yourself and for them. Let them pursue you for once while you focus on staying strong.
Stay off their social media
Stop stalking their social media. If you want to pull back in your relationship, the first place to start is to disconnect from their social media page.
Stop letting them control your feelings
If you know in your heart that something is not right and you need to pull back to gain some perspective, don’t let them emotionally blackmail you or use other forms of abuse to keep you in close when it hurts you. You should shut them down and if need be, move on!
credit: acceleratetv.comRead More
Dear boys, if you want a break up, please just say it and quit the ‘I need some space’ line, because we will just overthink it and probably still end up breaking up with you. If you’re wondering what we mean, check out 6 things we interpret that space thing as – there’s more, but we’re sure you get the gist from these ones
He wants to break up
Sometimes your boyfriend will test the waters and figure out how you feel about ending things by saying that he needs space. He’s not officially breaking up with you or even moving in that direction so he figures that this is a safe thing to say and a good place to start. If you do not get the message he is sending, he may have no choice than to be blunt by telling you it is over.
He’s feeling pressured
You probably already know that if there’s one thing that guys hate when it comes to being in a relationship, it’s being pressured. He doesn’t want to live someone else’s life or feel like he should be doing something according to what society wants. So if he feels that you’re putting any kind of pressure on him, whether you want to move in together or even get married, then he might say he wants space because he doesn’t know how to tell you that he’s not ready to commit that much yet.
He thinks he made a mistake
If your boyfriend says that he needs space as soon as he commits to you, then that means that he thinks that he made a mistake. Unfortunately for you, this doesn’t bode well for your future relationship. If he was truly cool with the choice that he made and the changes in your lives, then he would never, ever say that he needed space.
He’s unsure about you
If your boyfriend says that he needs space, it’s totally possible that he’s unsure about you. Yeah, he gets that you’re a completely amazing person and that you’re essentially a catch. And yeah, he cares about you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t. But he’s just not certain that you’re the right person for him right now and in the future, too.
He met another girl
No one wants to even consider the remote possibility that the person they love could have fallen for someone else. But sometimes a guy will tell you that he needs space and it’s because he met another girl. He doesn’t want to rock the boat of your relationship by breaking up with you right now, but he doesn’t want to let this girl go, either. He wants to explore the possibility of being with her and so he’s going to say that he needs some space for you so he can go and do that.
He wants to be single
Some guys get it into their heads that it’s better to live the single life. They don’t want to be tied down or saddled with a girlfriend. And it doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you. It just means that they’re getting pressure from their friends or, worse, all their friends are single so they figure they might as well be, too.
So why not help us all by telling us exactly what you want your space for
By Damilola FaustinoRead More
By Damilola Faustino
Finding the love of your life is not the end game to every relationship. Being in love does not always mean staying in love. the latter takes extra effort and dedication. So if you are truly committed to your relationship and you want to see it work, then this article just might be what you need. Read on:
Don’t give up date night
Keep doing the things that attracted you to each other in the beginning. Don’t stop dating each other because you’ve gotten comfortable. It’s important for partners to carve out time for each other. There shouldn’t be any excuse for missing a date night unless it’s a tangible one.
Keep exes out of the picture
Do your best not to mention past loves. This is a quick way to dampen the passion and possibly dig up some insecurities and resentment. It’s best to keep silent when it comes to exes. You must not talk about exes unless the general topic comes up, and even then don’t talk negatively about an ex.
Change your surroundings
Avoid falling into a relationship routine. Sometimes couples can fall into a comfortable pattern of doing the same things every day. Shake things up a bit and move out of your comfort zone every now and then.
Continue to be nice to each other and to anticipate each other’s needs. Thoughtfulness can help a partner feel loved and nourished. So personalize your date, let him or her know that you care and you pay attention to their life.
Work on yourself
It will be very difficult to have an animated relationship if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself. It’s vital to work on accepting yourself before you put your energy into nurturing a relationship.
Don’t expect your partner to read your mind
One potential cause of friction in a relationship is expecting your partner to be able to act a certain way or do certain things without you having to ask. Know that your partner is not a mind reader. So, it is key to communicate your inner thoughts, fears, needs and happiness in a relationship.Read More
The dream girl and woman crush can be yours if you follow these eight rules.
if you are tired of being single and hope to attract the woman of your dreams, this is for you.
Whether you have been holding out for something perfect, or you've been moving from one failed relationship to another, you still stand a chance to find perfection in the midst of all the chaff around.
Here are eight ways to find and attract the woman you've always dreamt of:
1. You have to try
Really, the problem most guys have is probably self-created. From afar, women may look scary and unapproachable but you never know what happens until you say hi.
You need to get to the point where you can walk up to one and start talking to her without turning into an emotional basket case.
2. It’s really not all that about looks and money
If you don't have the right attitude and approach, your money may not work.
Yeah, we’ve heard about your money and yes, there are women who will be drawn to that and nothing more.
You really will go far with women with the right attitude - humility, being genuinely nice, confidence [not cockiness] etc.
Don’t just have the money and looks; you need a great attitude to boot.
3. First impressions
You never get a second chance to make a great first impression. So be cool with your words and the things you say the first time.
After you have made a great first impression though, you need to stop doing too much, she’ll see through all the goody-two-shoes impression and may be pissed off. Be yourself. You don’t have to try so hard to achieve that.
4. Work on yourself first
You can’t desire a 10 when you are three or a four. Women desire to have great men just as you desire to have great women.
Be the very best version of yourself first. Groom excellently, your speech, appearance, your language… polish all that, not just because you want a girl but because you truly want to better yourself.
If not, you’re doomed to fail before you even begin.
credit Ayoola Adetayo
I remember one time I had an ex, we were still in the toasting stage of the relationship and she said something that left me wondering. She said “lami, I have this hangout with a couple of friends and some guys would also be there.. Should I go?”. I was surprised that she asked such a question. For the very few people who have dated me, you’d know I’m the most laidback boyfriend in this world who gives you the freedom to do whatever you wanna do. Why? because I also love my freedom and I don’t want anyone monitoring or disturbing me.
I told her, ‘Yeah sure.. have fun” and she was surprised. Like I was meant to say No or something. To her, she was probably trying to make me more involved in her life and whatnot but in reality, she just gave me unnecessary power. Sometimes when you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t be asking your partners for some things, instead, you should be telling them. If I had told her not to go to the hangout because I was uncomfortable, she just basically gave me the power to restrict her movements. From that day on I’d have the right to tell her where and where not to go because she gave me the power to.
When in new relationships, women tend to do this a lot. They give men unnecessary power and then the men, in turn, tend to abuse it because such kind of power is new to them. We also give such power to our parents too. Instead of telling them we want to go out, we ask them if we can go out and as we all know, Nigerian parents LOVE to abuse power if given the tiniest bit.
The moral of this short and scattered article is, Stop giving people unnecessary power by asking, just tell them instead.Read More
I grew up with my grandmother. I didn’t know my mother until she showed up one day after my grandfather’s death; I was 9 at the time. After that, she would come like once or twice a year; I never really missed her because I never bonded with her. But, there was something quite mysterious about her and her visit, she would come at night and often leave very early in the mornings and she avoided seeing people whenever she was around. It was as if she was hiding from someone.
I knew she was living with a man in Lagos and she has a child with him, she never told me, but I hear when she talked about him with Mama.
Mama never talked about my father, my mother never talked about my father too. I remembered asking Mama a few times, and she would just say, you don’t have a father.
SEE ALSO: I Escaped Death From A Road Accident Because Someone Else Took My Seat
I didn’t understand it, I asked if he was dead, or abroad, I wanted answers but no one was ready to give me any. So I formulated one, I told my friends at school that my father was in Scandinavia. I had seen that name in a magazine and it sounded so gorgeous.
We lived in a family house, with many extended family members around, and the old ones would often look at me with pity in their eyes, and I could see there were many unspoken words behind their looks.
Some of the people in the compound have called me ‘omo ale’ meaning bastard to my face before. The other children gave me a nickname behind my back, it was ‘fatherless’.
Mama was everything to me, she gave me everything I needed and loved me unconditionally. But even as a child, I knew she was a sad old woman. She only had my mother and my uncle, who I never met until my grandmother died.
She died when I was 12.
I woke up to go to school and saw that she was still sleeping. It was really strange because I had never got up before her. I called her, I touched her, I shook her, but she was gone.
She was in the mortuary for a long time because the family was waiting for my mother and her brother to come for a family meeting so they could plan her burial. There were times my mother came but her brother did not show up, but the family insisted the two must be present.
Eventually, he came, the whole compound rushed out the day he arrived. Some talked in hushed tones, chastising him for neglecting his old mother for so long.
He only greeted me casually, he didn’t ask how old I was, or which class I was in school. He didn’t pay me any attention.
I was worried about what will happen to me after the burial. Where will I go, who will take care of me? I have lost the only person who cared for me but there was no one to console me.
After the burial, my uncle was getting ready to leave when Mama’s sister grabbed him by his arm and was crying out loud, saying he will not go until they settle my case.
She dragged him into a room and locked the door behind them shouting that her sister’s spirit will not rest in peace if he leaves without settling my case.
My mother and I were outside crying, I was confused. I was so sad.
After a while, some elders forced their way in and they later asked us to enter, and that is how the whole story was told.
My grandfather impregnated my mother when she was in her twenties. My grandmother insisted that they must cover it up, and she told people that my mother got pregnant with a man who didn’t want the child. After she gave birth, she dropped me for my grandmother and grandfather and never looked back until my grandfather died. I heard she was sending money for my upkeep.
An aladura told my uncle I was a child of doom, and if they allow me to live, I will bring destruction to the family. He could not persuade them to get rid of me, so he kept his distance from them all so that he will not partake of the evil I came to do in the world.
I thrived in spite of them all.
credit: woman.ngRead More
By Uju Chukwu
I realized speaking to ladies is the most interesting aspect of my life thus far because there is always a lot to be said. This topic we want to handle today, I will write the English as simply as I can, because it is time for our girls to wise up, do not be the pity party guest.
Many ladies are in relationships and they keep asking questions just to be sure they are doing the right thing or taking the right step. I must say I admire that because when you do not know and you ask questions most times you are guided properly but other times you could be led into the gutter.
Okay o! I have been in various conversations when ladies are asked if you find your man cheating what will you do. And then most of them give replies like I will walk away and never turn back, that’s modest but how many of us will walk away and feel that walking away was right and not want to blow the dust?
HERE ARE 3 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO WHEN YOU GET HIM CHEATING
MEET WITH THE GIRL:
What is it?!
Why will you want to do that? Most times this is the first step people think of, but NOOO!! You should be able to guide your worth, act the mature one and do not even make the lady realize you are aware of her existence. If the foundation of the relationship is right and you committed it to God at the beginning take it back to him as he is the only one who can solve the puzzle. Your mouth does not have the ability to change a man.
CONDEMN HIM IN PUBLIC:
This is one thing many ladies tend to do when they are faced with the issue of their man cheating on them. Remember, if you condemn him in the public it is more or less like washing your dirty linen outside, which should not be so. Bad character does not hide itself, do not go around wasting your valued time spreading stories to the world on how he is the worst person ever when you could invest it in doing better things. With silence, you will give yourself the respect you deserve.
APOLOGIZE TO HIM:
Love and more love. Love is sweet but never allow the sweetness turn you into being foolish with your actions. He has wronged you, do not let him brainwash your thoughts by saying “no I did not do that, I was just….” and then you go saying I am sorry. That’s psychology he just used on you, do not apologize for the wrong he did, not when you saw it with your own eyes.
There are lots not to do but these are the few I will be stating. Kindly add yours in the comment box below. Hope to hear from you.
What do you think about the advice? What can you add to the advice?Read More