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Nollywood actress Mercy Aigbe told Naij In a recent interview that failed marriages are on the increase not just in Nollywood but in general

In her words, “Failed marriages are on the increase now, not just in Nollywood. Some people are not just ready to be married because it comes with its own challenges and people also get married for the wrong reasons.”

Mercy also said “Nollywood marriages are more challenging because we are constantly in the news without any breathing space or privacy. Also, some journalists just get stories and are too lazy to verify such stories before publishing them. Journalists need to know that people are wicked and will want to get back at someone out there; so, they should put their integrity in check before writing any story.”
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Lagos is a comedy zone half the time and moving from one part of town to the other in a public bus can leave you with interesting experiences that keep you reeling with laughter for the most part of the journey.

If you lack a sense of humor, many situations you encounter can cause you to flip a switch but once you realize that public vehicles are boarded by people from various backgrounds, orientations, and mindsets, you should feel better.

Wooing a woman

Yes, you can meet your life partner anywhere. For this reason, men may want to take advantage of the opportunity of wooing a pretty girl especially when they know that the chances for seeing her again are pretty slim.

However, thing can turn awry really quick as not all ladies like the idea of being wooed in a public bus or on the high street of Ikeja.

2. Dozing off on the shoulders of a fellow passengers.

Sleeping in a public bus is not an unusual situation. However, what many Nigerians can not stand is when you turn the shoulders of a fellow passenger to a pillow.

It’s a little weird to have a stranger rub-off on you and if you can’t stand it, neither can they.

Plus it puts you at the mercy of pickpocket’s and you run the risk of being driven past your bus stop.

To avoid embarrassments, suppress your urge to woo the lady till she’s ready to get off the bus and then make your move. If it’s a hit or miss, the memories are all yours alone.

3. Some people are fond of trying to avoid paying transport fares. Other persons go as far as saying a little prayer hoping the conductor will forget his money.

In Lagos, you have got a large dose of faith, this prayer may not work and it often leads to bitter fights between the conductor and passengers….you do not want tied in a fist-cuff with a bus conductor.

4 Offering the driver ‘driving lessons’  
The average driver thinks of himself as king of the road. No matter their flaws, they rarely accept caution or correction from anyone.

Therefore, any passenger who attempts to caution the driver may receive a vitriolic reaction from him.
In classic comical Eko fashion, he may threaten to abdicate the driving sit for the passenger…in a moving vehicle, you certainly do not want him to take his threat seriously.


5. Intervene when arrested
Members of the Lagos State Traffic Management Authority (Lastma) or the police may be overzealous and aggressive but this is as a result of the habitual recklessness of drivers who disobey the State’s driving rules. When arrested, the drivers feel remorseful while pleading with passengers to apologise on their behalf.

Passengers do not need to intervene especially when the driver is at fault. To avoid getting caught in a free for all verbal onslaught, whenever the driver gets arrested, quietly disembark from the vehicle and get another one heading your way.
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Last year I read an article on psychology, the writer took a more academic approach by exploring the difference and how the lack of intimacy makes causal sex worse than junk food. But first, let’s look at the urban dictionary’s thought provoking definition of junk sex. “Junk sex is like junk food – not bad enough to avoid, but definitely not good enough to make a steady diet of.” The Urban Dictionary

This definition of junk sex sums why the effect of junk sex includes outbreaks of unhealthy relationship patterns, feeds emotional unavailability, creates a void of emptiness, malnourished emotional and spiritual life and ultimately leads to formulation of self-destructive behavior and in the term a very lonely life. In Nigeria, men are more prone to habitual junk sex than women. In case you are a bit lost in my very academic expressions, junk-sex is casual sex. So is junk sex as bad as junk food and is junk sex the same as causal sex. Today, I shall use the word junk sex and casual sex interchangeable, just know I mean the same thing. As an advocate for sanctified and exclusive sex, the randomness of sex is what’s wrong with dating these days as the tendency to put sex before knowing the person, often makes men, wake up to reality of “I am not sure” while the women fall into a cloud of confusion and emotional stress when a man walks away after sex. But, so is junk sex as bad as junk food to us?

There is no denying that unhealthy food tastes amazing and comes with a certain high that accompanies doing what you shouldn’t. If you give me one scoop of ice-cream with almond, coconut and chocolate cookie crumble, I will eat the whole thing, no such thing at just a spoon, I am going all the way until that cone is empty. That’s reason why I don’t include junk food in my office groceries shopping, because, if I have to go out to domino’s pizza, the one next to a cold stone, every day to eat junk, I’ll have ample time to rethink my decisions. Not to mention, the extra thick cheesy domino’s pizza or super creamy pasta at Cactus. Wait, where were we again sef, oh yes, eating junk food is bad. I guess you get the picture, stuff that is bad to the body is extremely appealing, well so is junk sex.

The author of the article mentioned that “in comparing junk food to junk sex, intimacy is lacking the nutritional value of sex”. Intimacy being feelings of closeness and sense of belonging with no barriers, which is what makes for a healthy relationship and in return explosive sex.

Recently I had my friend tell me “you know ImaRose you may see me as a player but I am getting sick and tired of having sex with girls and not wanting to wake up next to them; after it’s done, I start plotting my exit strategy or how to get rid of them. I want to be intimate with a girl and not wake up wondering why she is laying next to me”

For those of us on a #fitfam movement, you know how it feels when you have what you are not supposed to. Like when we eat that big bowl of Cactus creamy mushroom pasta and down it with some bad ass monster calories dessert? We feel regret and more often than not wish it could be undone. It’s usually the “oh crap” feeling that haunts us for like two to three days. Same goes for junk sex, you get that instant gratification and of course the feeling of regret that accompanies it.

I believe this is the reason why a lot of men in Lagos are professionally single, let’s face it, the convenience of junk sex drives their emotions into unavailability and traps them in ‘singlehood’ for a very long time, if not forever. Some of them become addicted to the adrenaline of junk sex that they continue this bad behaviour even after a delayed marriage.

On the other hand, some men fall into the junk sex experience so much so that like junk food, they become unable to enter into healthy romantic relationships. Not because they don’t want to, but because, they have become conditioned to being unable to give what is required in a healthy relationship. Don’t get me wrong, casual sex is a means to an end with full disclosure of intentions and expectations from parties involved, but let’s be real, how many woman can really stick to such terms and conditions? and for men, how many men can easily switch to a healthy state of mind once they meet a potential girlfriend?

I empathize with men whose means to an end is junk sex, but it can become a long life addiction, which like every addiction leaves participants still empty and always searching for more. Like my friend who is 43 and genuinely wants to ‘settle down’ but no woman is ever good enough, even when he is dating a girl he likes, he still goes about saying  he is available because to him that his way of making sure he is not settling when he could get a better deal. Men like my friend almost never find a good woman and end up settling for the most manipulative woman who would have trapped them somehow

I had no idea what good sex was when I was with the unlucky guy and that’s because there was a lot missing. When there are feelings involved, there is room for unselfish mutual satisfaction which leads to great sex, in my opinion.

In the end, you should know what works for you, would you rather intimacy filled with love and a deep connection or do you prefer instant gratification like our ‘fast foods’?

I for one, avoid rushed intimacy like a plague and that’s because my heart is not designed for emotional detachment so I choose to always make healthy choices, from the food I eat to the type of intimacy I experience.

Love,

ImaRose
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I am a 30-year old lady with a decent job and good take-home pay. I am pretty much dependent and can afford whatever I want. Now, i have been in a relationship with a man who has filed for divorce and the case is currently pending in court on the basis of infidelity. We have been together for one year plus and It has been great so far because we both are matured and know exactly what we want. We had our introduction last two months and that gave me a soothing relief he was serious.

I have always made my fears known to him that what if the ex-wife comes around and begs for forgiveness since their separation hasn’t been made official, where does that leave me? Each time I ask to seek for clarification, he never gives a convincing response.

Recently, while having his bath, he got a text message which I saw. It was from his ex-wife thanking him for taking out time to come around and see her. I confronted him and he said he only had sympathy for her since she was more or less struggling financially especially after taking their only kid away out of anger.

Ever since then, I have seen her several calls on the log and whenever I ask him, he brings up one excuse or the other like I am stalking him bla bla bla!!!..….. Truth is I have never had reasons to doubt him but this is really making me consider my options. If he still had plans on getting back with his wife, why propose to me and even have an introduction ceremony with both families present?

Anyone out there with an advice to share would go a long way. Many thanks.
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 As a follow-up to the " #DIP2 PRESS-RELEASE 1.0 " and with Enugu state-campuses students and general public enlightened as to what "DANCE-ALL INTERCAMPUS PARTY 2 " is all about , we at C4Music Group Nigeria ( @c4musiciofficial ) thought it wise for this second press-release to address all enquiries forwarded to us so far and how the situations have been addressed.

              •  WHAT IS #DIP2? •
=> Full meaning is " dance-all Intercampus Party 2 "

     • INVITED & WELCOME CAMPUSES •
=> E.S.U.T

=> U.N.N

=> G.O.U

=> MADONNA

=> I.M.T

=> CARITAS

=> U.N.E.C

=> N.O.U.N

=>RENAISSANCE
        & all other Enugu state campuses alongside the general public are very much welcome.

             • VENUE OF #DIP2 •
  =>  " CLUB 125 " of Citipark Luxury hotels Enugu is the official venue for #DIP2! Spread the word!

 â€¢ SPECIAL APPEARANCES & PERFORMANCE LINE-UP FOR #DIP2 •
              * SPECIAL GUESTS *

1. Mr Ekene Odigwe ( Presenter Radio Nigeria / Creative Director Red Carpet TV )
2. Mr emeka ( C.E.O 2muchloaded.com )
3. Amaka Anazodo. ( Radio Nigeria )
4. Brainbox ( C.E.O blueprint afric )
5. BLACK MC
6. Jasmine ( C.E.O Naza Media house. )
7. Brainchild ( G.O.Uni Radio )
         Amongst others!


           * PERFORMANCE LINE-UP *
• MR LIN • SUPER K.O. • ICY K • BLACK MC • MR STUNNA • GEEZY • EL BLESS • ROCKSYWAYA • FEMKEYZ • CHIDEXY • VOKALEN • ODIZZY • CAYZ BLACC • CHIDOKIZZ • NECTTAH • PEFIZZY • DIRRY SEPE • HOUSE OF TROJAN • KAPTIVE • GOOD • OBIDI • MAX MARCEL • KOSVIRY • FYBA • VIC2KUL !
             YOUR HOST: CHAPTERZ
 On the Wheels-of-steel :: DJ KELLY FIZZY! & DJ SWEETBOI!

                 • DATE OF #DIP2 •
=>  " 13th AUG AUGUST 2015, 8PM. " is the official date and time! Spread the word!

            • ADMISSION FEE FOR #DIP2 •
=>  In light of major extras that would be thrown in - MUSICAL PERFORMANCES, FREE GIVE-AWAYS, EXCLUSIVE DANCE-ALL EXPERIENCE, TOP-NOTCH MUSICAL EXPERIENCE, GUARANTEED SECURITY, EXCLUSIVE APPEARANCES amongst others to make #DIP2 an exceptional experience, admission for #DIP2 would be granted at
#1000naira FLAT RATE!
     But we at C4music Group NG, after considering the income-level of the targeted campus students. THE STIPULATED COST HAS BEEN InFLUENCED TO #500 - if a picture of you, the #DIP2 hashtag & your campus is presented at the gate. * A SAMPlE PHOTO HAS BEEN ATTACHED TO THIS PRESS-RELEASE. LOOK BELOW *
         Once again, PASSCODE :: #1000naira flat, tickets go for #500 - if a picture of you, the #DIP2 hashtag & your campus is presented at the gate.
        FREE ENTRY FOR THE FIRST 20 PEOPLE!!!

  *** FREE #DIP2 tickets to given out on-air on the #042CHARTSHOW this saturday on ESUT RADIO 106.5FM by 9AM - so be sure to tune in, and call in to get your FREE TICKETS! ***
         TONNES OF MORE FREEBIES TO BE GIVEN OUT AT THE EVENT TOO! SPREAD THE WORD!

          • #DIP2 EVENT SUPPORTERS •
      In no particular order...
   **All enugu state-campus students.
   ** Blue-Print Afric.
   ** martini - Hustlerz & divaz online platform
   ** www.realchannnel65.com
   ** ESUT radio
   ** Naza media house
   ** keffeler photography
   ** www.2muchloaded.com
   ** cute brainz ent.


                • TRANSPORTATION •
  => By popular demand, transportation would be made available to and from #DIP2 event location to interested people.
       To use this service please call: +2348155533666

            General Enquiries: +2347062240381 BB PIN:331E6984 PIN:334A94E7  W/A: +2347062240381

--
...bless you.,
B. O. Chapterz .
C4-Music Group Nigeria.

+2347062240381

www.facebook.com/c4musicofficial
www.twitter.com/c4musicofficial
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A Poem

she is dressed up,
A beauty to behold
A lost to wonder
Like a harlot is she
Lust desire fills her,
In every corner she stands,
Awaiting the one,
Her words sweeter than honey,
Made to slain.
Her body more desirable,than diamond,
Made to slay.
She says, i have made my bed,
With the finest linen,
My room with the finest of things,
It scents of sweet savoring perfume
The scents of seduction, in my precious tower.
She deceives all, without hold.
She brings down the greatest of all.
She is but the devil himself.
She is non but SIN.

FROM CHIDERA NWACHUKWU
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I've come across you
You're nothing
You're just a replica of what you assume
A con of your own self
With emptiness within
Accomplishing nothing but verbal struggle
You gloat in your short sighted mind of empty dreams
You can't run
But want the glory of the finish line
With adjusted lies
You try making the runners fall weary before the reach the finish line you couldn't reach
You are like the son of the morning
You want to lure as much as you can to your wasted destination
That's why you talk down on people
Because you feel down
You try to make people feel less of themselves
Because you feel so
You attack women  
Because you hear they are the weaker vessel
Boy are you soo wrong
Full of deceit
Your smile is fake because it doesn't last
You attack people's faith
Make fun of their hope
Just to make them hopeless
As attractive as you are
You are nonetheless empty
You are a sepulcher
Beautiful on the outside
But filled with broken bones of dead dreams
It's only sad that you are all over facebook
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One particular social issue that motivates me to volunteer and serve is the issue of homelessness in Nigeria. I believe that everyone deserves the right to a sheltered lifestyle and it is unfair that people have to live in the streets simply because they are incapable of affording a home. This is a deeply personal issue to me because I too was once considered homeless when I was living in Ajegunle, Lagos.

As a child, my parents rented out a house in one of the slums in Lagos but were not in a financial position to pay the rent and so in order to have a home, my parents started working extra shifts and my siblings and I were pulled out of school for a while just for them to keep a roof over our heads. Despite their numerous efforts to raise money, it still wasn’t enough and we were eventually asked to vacate the house by the landlords. During our time on the streets, moving from one aunt’s house to the other, and transferring schools all the way, everyone looked down on us. Our social reputations were no longer built by the content of our characters, but by our abilities to afford a place to live.

Another problem was that nobody ever opted to help us for they had their own problems and I noticed my parents suffer from chronic depression. It was definitely a low point in our lives.

Thankfully, my uncle helped us out and brought us back on our feet, which resulted in the improvement of our quality of life because both my parents began to move up in their careers. They are now capable of sending my siblings and I to higher education in both the UK and the US. I am forever grateful to my parents and my uncle for giving me the life I have today and even though I only experienced homelessness for a short time, I was able to witness the tragedy and misfortunes of being alone and helpless. It’s murderous.

At such a young age, I had to learn that Nigeria is a country of “Every man for himself.” Not many people will help you if you can’t pull your own weight. Not even your own government. In other countries, the government subsidizes housing, especially for families with dependent children. But in Nigeria, we live a pay-as-you-go lifestyle. Most of the rich families are based on lineage inheritance, while a few outliers make it from the bottom. It is not an unusual sight to see homeless people living beside some of the biggest family mansions in the country.

Housing is one of the basic and fundamental needs in life. But it’s more than that, especially if you live in Nigeria. The social elements make it extremely unbearable. The government should, therefore, make it a priority to put roofs over its residents’ heads. I definitely hope to be a part of any housing revamp in the future!

By Chuks,

You can also send in your stories to blueprintafricamedia@gmail.com
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Both my parents are Igbo; they are from Abia state and even the same local government. I was born in Lagos, a few months after my parents started working in the city after their marriage. Similar to most Nigerian children, I learned to speak two languages before I was five: English and Igbo. English was learned and spoken in school to teachers, classmates, and everyone else who didn’t understand Igbo. Whenever I was home with my parents, however, I automatically switched to Igbo. My “good-afternoon’s” changed to “kedụ” and my “thank-you’s” changed to “kaa”. As I grew older, into my teenage years, I involuntarily learned to speak Pidgin English, which is the everyday language on the streets of Lagos and was spoken by almost everyone.

The way I learned these languages is not dissimilar to the way most children who grow up in Lagos learned. Lagos is the busiest city and the economic capital of Nigeria, with many people travelling long distances to settle and make a living in Lagos. By implication, Lagos, a Yoruba state, is also very diverse. Many people from all the different tribes and geographical zones settle in Lagos to increase their chances of success. These people, unwilling to ignore their histories, usually try to instill their native languages in their children. This is precisely why many Nigerians speak more one Language. In my case, it is English, Igbo, and Pidgin. Many iterations of this are found around Lagos: some people speak English, Hausa, and Pidgin – others English and Yoruba, or English and Edo. Deep down in our parents’ minds, that extra native language signifies something important. Speaking the extra language at home meant that, although we were born and bred in Lagos, I am actually from another state down south or up north. This reminder is always emphasized when my parents start planning the ceremonial trip to the village almost every year during Christmas break

Growing up in Lagos, I had no problems making friends with people from different backgrounds. I was friends with many Hausas, Fulanis, Edos, and Yorubas, and I even learned a bit of Yoruba. I am happy to shout, ‘owa’ at the bus conductor when the bus reaches my destination, and my favourite Yoruba words are the insults: ode and oloshi are quick to escape my mouth when someone slightly annoys me. I especially found the yearly travel to the village boring, and spoke English instead of Igbo when I had to choose between both. The diversity in Nigeria fascinated me and I have always believed that diversity was one of the strong pillars of the nation. I grew up with the mindset of a Lagosian: strongly motivated and dedicated to achieving my goals in any possible means, while remembering to party and dance when the time is right. I didn’t grow up as an Igbo person, I grew up as a Nigerian. I learned to be a Nigerian from the start, having no bias for my tribespeople or against a particular group.

I have, therefore, always been puzzled by news on tribal violence or news of political discrimination based on race. During election season, it’s always been the norm to hear people who claim that they will only vote for people from their own tribes. And the worst of them are the stereotypes associated with different races: “the Igbo man loves money too much,” being the most popular and plainly the least sensible. I have heard many Igbos who still claim to be suffering from the effects of the civil war, and therefore reinforce their dislike for other tribes. Every time I encounter scenarios like this, a bit of my faith in Nigeria’s future greatness and potential  is diminished because this nation is built on tribal diversity and it will never succeed if all the tribes don’t come together.

I am a strong believer of unity. Since Nigeria’s independence, however, we do not seem to have found the perfect formula to solve the tribalism problem. I think tribalism is a bigger problem than corruption. If we think of Nigeria as a divided community, then it is difficult to try to do anything to make it better. If politicians and citizens alike think that their respective tribes are better, how will we ever find a perfect leader without being biased? At the bottom of the Nigerian coat of arms, bordering a picture of grass that signifies productivity, two phrases are written in the following order: Unity and Faith, Peace and Progress. Unity and Faith are required before Peace and Progress follow.

I was having a discussion with one of my close friends recently about the recent terrorism in Northern Nigeria, the continuously diminishing influence of Igbos in the Nigerian political landscape, and the prospects of Nigeria’s future.

After speaking back and forth for a while, he asked, “what will you do if Igbos try to secede again?”

“I don’t know,” I replied “I’m Nigerian before I’m Igbo.”

***
By Anonymous

You can also send in your stories to @blueprintafricamedia@gmail.com
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Grew up with the illusions of having a fairytale wedding by the seaside with a few relatives and friends even though I know my mother’s church members would all gatecrash the wedding because she is the chairwoman of the prayer committee. Oh no! I won’t have the usual long train of bridesmaids and the ‘carnival’ they call Nigerian weddings. Fast-forward fifteen years later, i’m fresh out of Nnamdi Azikiwe University Awka, a theatre arts graduate,having bagged my parents desired second class upper ‘2.1’ like my nigerians would say. All my conversations with my mom would end with “so any special guy yet?”, a long pause on my end, and then my mom saying “hmm,don’t chase them away with all these your career talk o. Keep hollywood out of it, a woman needs to be under a man oo.” I would sigh and reassure her that she would be the first to hear about any suitor.

Oh boy! The suitors did come my way more than she knew – they came even before my formative years; I was sixteen when the first one approached me outside my fathers house.

Kelechi.He was tall, dark and handsome – spoke fluent english and made silvery promises of giving me all I would ever want in life. At sixteen,all I ever wanted was to pass my WAEC/ NECO exams and to be kissed by Chibueze, my school crush who wouldn’t notice me despite my borrowing him my economics/maths textbooks. Kelechi would buy Nutri C powdered juice sachets and Enid blyton books on each of his visits and I would entice Chibueze with them as I overheard him saying he loved reading. We became reading buddies and both joined the literary and debating clubs but I still did not receive my kiss. I got tired of tolerating kelechi and he moved on. Chibueze changed schools without informing me. He took two of my novels and my kiss with him, a painful reminder of what could have been.

Dating in the university was a bore as every guy i met was either under-aged, too loud or a cultist. I tried to fit in desperately but I got two heartbreaks and a bruise on the eye by Maje, my handsome banker lover. The one that that every girl swooned over,every member of my family loved, and I adored until when he visited me in school after he had lost his job and stayed with me for two weeks. I got back from school on that fateful day to discover that there was no bottled water in the fridge – I innocently asked why he didn’t buy water for ‘our house’ and all I got was a slap that sent me flying to the other end of the room.He begged and begged, saying it was the devil at work. I believed him until he did it again and I sent him out of my apartment with a threat of involving the anti-cult establishment in my school.

Moving to lagos after university was a must for my career – going for auditions was hectic, I just couldn’t keep up with all of them as they were so many. Six months later, I had become tired of going for auditions and getting no call backs. My finances were dwindling, I ate less and I prayed even harder for a breakthrough. I went to auditions with prayer tracts. While I rehearsed audition slides, I would meditate on the tracts too and it helped boost my morale. I finally got my big break to star in an semi hollywood movie and they came to me in Nigeria. On the first day of shoot, I was nervous, jittery and I had used the loo a zillion times. Before I knew it, I saw Hamza standing in the corner with a glass of orange juice and I instantly knew he was the one. The rest of my shoot that day was in a blur – all I could picture was our fairytale wedding by the seaside, we would have twins – a boy and a girl,we would live in a beautiful house in Ikoyi and we would live happily ever after.

I couldn’t sleep that night,i fantasized about him, his long legs, pink soft lips, chiseled face with a few tribal marks on his left cheeks.For two weeks, Hamza,became my ‘set buddy’,we discussed everything and everyone on set. He was the film’s production coordinator so he was always in the know. He taught me a little hausa and I taught him all the nasty words in Igbo. He was so keen to learn every single word. He would call me,’ada ada’ as he loved Flavour Nabania. I didn’t want the shoot to end but it did.

At the wrap party for both cast and crew members, I had dressed to kill to show him what he would be missing when he leaves for abuja,his base. I knew deep down he would beg that i visit him, that he couldn’t live without me and that I was his MRS. The party was for 7pm, and I got there 30 minutes late. When I saw him in the crowd, i started sweating as I advanced towards my supposed MR with a girlish smile on my face – the man of my dreams, my hausa prince, the one that swept me away with a glance. When I got closer to him, I froze. My Mr. had a ‘handbag’ with him, his wife’s I learnt afterwards. I questioned him “why didn’t you have a wedding ring on all these while?”

Hopes dashed,and all my dreams to become a MRS shattered.

By Naya A
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