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Before the grand entry of technology, love was solely reliant on the efforts of both parties making it work. Writing love letters, and travelling long distances just to see your partner was the norm. However, with technology comes change and with this evolution, a myriad of positive and unhealthy habits with it. So what are the ways technology is changing the way people love? highlights five of these.

Make Long Distance Relationship (LDR) work

Many people are in a long distance relationship, thanks to technology. At present, there are various platforms for lovers to keep in touch and interestingly, and with these platforms becoming relatively affordable most sincere relationships can survive the test of time.

Breakup made easy

Since technology creates a wider platform to meet people, very few people are willing to remain in crappy and unhappy relationships. They know if they breakup, in the next few months, they are chatting with another potential lover on Facebook. Many are taking online meetings to offline and converting them into loving relationships. Notwithstanding the risk, people still engage in it.

Date outside the box

Variety is the spice of life. The more the variety, the more the choices. Hence, many people date individuals who are within their preferred taste. Fortunately, tech helps many to meet eligible guys and ladies. But, being careless with this has led to unsavoury endings.

Many have become sleuth

You can find anybody you meet on the surface of the earth as far as they have an online presence. If she is in a hurry and you could not get her phone number, ensure that she tells you her name and Google it!

However, for some people they have become online detectives especially when they are obsessed with somebody. They navigate from Facebook to twitter, and Instagram just to satisfy their obsession. Love was quite simple, but today with all the tech shenanigans, it is now complicated!

Very few invest in their relationship

Technology has made things very elementary. In the past,  painstaking attempts were made to keep a relationship spicy and loving. But, with the World Wide Web, you can simply sit in the comfort of your room chatting with your partner. Both of you may not even see each other for months. Why should you see each other when both of you are already having fun on WhatsApp?

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The popular actress and her minister husband who have been married for more than three years, were featured on the cover of Rolling Out magazine

Meagan Good and Devon Franklin have revealed saving sex for marriage is the 'key to success' for couples The pair explained why they chose to be celibate till they tied the knot, unlike the norm in our society.

 â€œI was tired of living a lie. Doing one thing [outside] of the pulpit and doing another thing in the pulpit. I really wanted to align my spiritual life with my personal life,” said Franklin.

Meagan revealed to the magazine that she had done the same thing over and over again expecting a different result but it led to more heartbreak.
After my last relationship, I was in a place where I was just like, ‘Why do I keep running into walls?’ I got tired of it and decided that I was going to do it all your [God’s] way. Not half your way. I’m going to do all of it and it really changed everything,” she said.
The couple who recently released a book called 'The Wait'- , “a powerful practice for finding the love of your life and the life you love,” said it was discipline and vow of celibacy that allowed` them find true love with each other
The book talks about why saving sex for marriage is the 'key to success
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Let’s face it, many things don’t work in Nigeria. Most of the time you are on your own, with no good emergency services in place to help you out in trouble.

Here are a few tips for every Nigerian woman, please be free to add more in the comment section.

First aid: You do know there is nothing like a first responder or 999 to call when there is a medical emergency right? It is highly important to know how to administer first aid, and also to know the dos and don’ts when dealing with an injured person. For instance, what should you do when someone is bleeding or is having a heart attack? Many of us don’t know! Many deaths could have been prevented if people around knew how to give a CPR or administer first aid before they got to the hospital.

Self Defence: From the senate floor, to offices, clubs and market places, a minor argument can turn into hot slaps and deadly blows in few minutes. Before you realise it, a seemingly charming man can turn into a rapist! Sometimes the only way to save your life will be in how fast you can punch your attacker’s groin, or  in knowing where to hit him on the head so he can lose his grip and you can escape. Do you know how to turn the seemingly insignificant things in your bag into a weapon when your life is at stake? Important!

Driving: A man fell ill in the middle of the night. There were cars to take him to the hospital but his wife couldn’t drive, his sister who lives with them couldn’t drive  too and their driver lives miles away!  Whether you have a car or not, whether you have a driver or not, it is important to know how to drive a car. The difference between life and death sometimes can be in your ability to drive.

Swimming: We haven’t seen the end of the  floods yet because proper precautions are still not in place. This means that one day someone will wake up to a chest- level flood in her living room. You should be able to at least stay afloat till someone can hear you screaming. It is also shocking to know that many women go so close to the water at the beach and pose for selfies at the tip of swimming pools without knowing how to swim!  Dangerous!

Talk your way out of trouble: There is so much lawlessness, on the road, in the market and even in your neighbourhood you will encounter people who will try to take advantage of you. Sometimes knowing your rights and standing by it works. Sometimes all that works is to be able to come down to the level of whoever you are dealing with and resolve issues amicably. You need to be able to know the situation and the kind of people involved to know which approach to use. Don’t start stating your fundamental human rights to an agbero with a dagger in his hands, toss him the naira he asked for and flee!

 Put out a fire: There are fire service stations , but they don’t always have the resources they need to put out a fire, and when they do, they may get caught in traffic or their truck may be too big to navigate your street. In other words they are not reliable. Knowing how to quench a fire as soon as it starts may save your live and your property. For instance do you know that a simple fire in the kitchen can be put out immediately using a fire blanket or portable extinguisher. Do you know that some fires require C02 extinguisher and not water extinguisher? Do you know the STOP, DROP and ROLL procedure for when the clothe on your body catches fire? These things are not so hard to buy or know, yet many of us don’t know or have them.

A smile,  a wave of the hand and maybe a “good morning”: Don’t snub people around you that you see everyday – gate men, petty traders, and even neighbors, except they are a dangerous threat to your safety. People around don’t have to be your friend, but they don’t have to be your enemy too. A smile, a wave and an occasional “good morning” can do wonders. You just never know when you will need someone’s help to kill a snake on your couch, jump start your car battery  or to even get you to a hospital
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So this week I was privileged to attend a 3 day training and as fate would have it I got seated beside a not so young lady who intrigued me from day 1. You could tell that her movements were that of a suspicious character. Despite us having to listen to the “mentors” and summarise their teachings afterwards this woman’s hands never strayed from the phone. She was either texting, bbming or calling.

During one of our break sessions i casually asked her if everything was fine. She sighed and as a gbenborun I sensed an opening and went for the jogular.

Hope everything is ok. You look worried. I asked.

Everything is not ok, but I am hoping for the best. She responded with a despondent look.

Ok, God will see you through. Having said my comforting piece I faced my front. Only for Sisi-madam to tap me.

Can I talk to you? I need to get the matter off my chest before I combust.

Feel free I said with an easy and open smile. All that was running through my mind at that point was “yes, yes, gist for lifetitudes”.

I think my husband is cheating, and I don’t know what to do.

Hearing her common problem I asked how she was sure he was. She gave a sarcastic laugh and responded that she had once been her husband’s side chick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He had been married while she was dating him. She had been in University and he would lie to his wife that he had a seminar or conference to attend and he would come to Ife and camp at a hotel with her. Sometimes for 3 days, sometimes 5 days, depending on his libido and her performance. Afterwards he would give her whooping sums of money guaranteed to make her head spin. When the wife couldn’t take her husband’s long absence from home anymore she upped and relocated to the UK.

The husband angrily filed for divorce and proposed to Sisi-Madam who willingly accepted his offer and became Madam gan gan. Now Sisi-Madam knowing her husband’s tricks sensed he had started dating a younger girl and was intent to retain her position, which explained her constant calling and monitoring of his movements.

She added that because of what she knew about him they were constantly fighting because she didn’t trust him. Every time he picks up his bag saying he has a conference/seminar or even international trip throws her into a fit of panic.

Sisi-Madam finished her story by asking me what I thought she could do to ensure she retains her home, I just replied it is well madam, God will see you through!

Abi? What would you have advised her to do if you were in my shoes?

Wish us all a wonderful day

Sent : by fiona

Mail me on if you have something you want to share
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I don’t think there is anyone that really enjoys being criticized…correct me if i’m wrong though. Even if we don’t like it, we have to accept it because it contributes to our growth process.
There’s definitely nobody that likes the quality of their work being questioned or their decisions challenged, but the thing is, the way you handle criticism is what determines your quality, as a person and in your craft. The willingness to accept and take corrections.

I personally don’t take criticism very well at first…I get defensive initially before I start to see reason in what you’re saying. I was talking to a friend of mine recently and he told me he is scared to criticize me sometimes because of how I react *sigh*. If you criticize me, I will gruel you with questions…but hey, I have to at least defend
myself don’t I?
I like constructive criticism, don’t come condemning something about me and then not offering any reasonable advise. I don’t take such people seriously and honestly, they really piss me off.

So how do you handle criticism? Miss Purpleheart says:


I don’t know about you, but the first thought that comes to my head when someone has something negative to say about me is “what is this one saying?”…Its bad I know, but I’m working on it.

You have to listen, not just listen, but understand where the person is coming from, put down you defensive cape for a minute and try reasoning with the person, ask questions if necessary. Being able to listen to and accept constructive criticism is a sign of maturity.


The more successful you become in life the more you become a target for criticism, or rather jealousy and envy disguised as criticism, so you have to take the person criticizing you into consideration. Instincts and intuition play a very huge part here. Criticism coming from co-workers or people you may be in competition with should be handled
carefully. Understanding where the criticism is coming from will help you know how best to handle it.


Instead of getting offended and being defensive, consider it and think about what it is you have possibly been doing wrong, think of ways to improve, if possible, do your research or get a second opinion.
Basically what I’m trying to say is…take action!


Do listen objectively
Do ask for specifics
Do get a second opinion and do your own research
Do apologize, take ownership and responsibility
Do show that you are taking feedback into consideration
Do take corrective action
Do learn from it

Don’t ignore the criticism
Don’t get defensive, angry or rude
Don’t waste time making excuses
Don’t react in haste before considering the best plan of action
Don’t blame others
Don’t engage in a cover-up
Don’t dwell on the error

Source –

Share with me, how have you handled criticism in the past? Are you bad at taking it like I am? Let me know in the comment section, let’s rub minds.
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emilolu Okeowo, a columnist for Punch Online wrote an article sometime ago about how it is important for young women today to understand the benefits of delayed gratification.

In response to her article, a woman called Jumoke wrote the letter below:

Dear Temilolu,

Many thanks for your article on delaying gratification. I sincerely hope a lot of girls would learn from it. My name is Jumoke though my in-laws call me Jumai and I’ll be 30 in July. I grew up in affluence and enjoyed every bit of what the children of the upper-class were exposed to. I went to elitist schools but for reasons best known to my late dad, I had my university education here at the University of Lagos even when he had more than enough money to send me abroad. I kept hoping he’d change his mind but he never did. He bought me a beautiful car which blew my mind for my 18th birthday and that shut me up. I was easily the toast of the campus as I was never short of the latest designer clothes I bought on every vacation abroad. And the hottest babes milled around me.

He died in my 3rd year and his younger brother took over everything that belonged to him in one fell swoop. It was a horrible nightmare. It happened too fast and we had to re-locate from our mansion to the family house at Isale-Eko. Luckily, my mother had a piece of land at Magodo Isheri which she built within a few months after selling all her gold jewellery and my car which was the only one we were left with. In fact, we almost sold ourselves to survive (laughs).

Now, the envy of the campus had to l-e-a-r-n to use the public transport (enter bus). It was bad as I was not used to it and was always falling ill and landing in the hospital. My friends (whose school fees I’d gotten my late dad to pay) deserted me. My father’s friends and other men who ought to help wanted to sleep with me. Though I wasn’t a virgin, I could never do that even if I didn’t have food to eat. I saw the other side of life and it turned me to a recluse as I became suspicious of everyone and couldn’t stand anymore pain or disappointment. We suffered so much demotion and setback but let me fast-forward to my service year.

I was posted to a Northern state and I almost died crying. Well, I had no choice. I ended up in the office of the wife of the governor. I was very reserved and usually kept to myself. Honestly, there were days I wished I never woke up. I was so aggrieved at the situation of things and was dying of loneliness, yet I didn’t want any friends. Unlike other female corpers who roamed the Governor’s office for obvious reasons, I remained on my seat. The First Lady noticed and took special interest in me. Also, I was very respectful to everyone and was quick to go down on my knees to greet the older ones around me. She found this strange and was fond of saying she wished to meet the woman who brought me up, my mother.

In the seventh month of my service year, she asked me to accompany her to Lagos on a weekend for a party and invited my mum. My mum joined us at the hotel later that day and I tell you there was no party. She told my mum that she had come to Lagos to ask for my hand in marriage for her friend’s brother who was based in Paris. I didn’t find that funny but I kept my cool. Sis, I swooned when I saw the picture of the guy who would later become my husband. He’s half- Moroccan, half –Nigerian and into upstream oil and gas and eight years older than I. When we met, it was like a match made in heaven.

Fast forward…that girl who would ply “danfo” (Ketu-Ojota-Mile 12) now flies all over the world with her husband in his Gulf Stream jet. We live in Monaco where I am chauffeured by a French man in a Bentley etc. and spend a lot of time in Paris where I get invited for private viewing whenever the designers girls go crazy about birth their latest collection. I have too many designer items and have since lost interest. You’d find me in ankara or voile lace made into a boubou or something (laughs). I have two lovely boys and hope to have a girl soon.
Just like you mentioned in your last article am master over all I could ever wish for and much more is running after me. Please, keep up the good work. UP GIRLS CLUB!

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From contraceptive pills, to alcohol and cigarette smoke, this is the list of things which the World Health Organisation (WHO) researchers and experts say are the causes of cancer. If you recall, there was general outrage some MONTHS back when WHO said we should stop eating suya because it also triggers cancer.

 See full list below;

1. Tobacco smoking
2. Sunlamps and sunbeds
3. Aluminium production
4. Arsenic in drinking water
5. Auramine production
6. Boot and shoe manufacture and repair
7. Chimney sweeping
8. Coal gasification
9. Coal tar distillation
10. Coke (fuel) production
11. Furniture and cabinet making
12. Haematite mining (underground) with exposure to radon
13. Secondhand smoke
14. Iron and steel founding
15. Isopropanol manufacture (strong-acid process)
16. Magenta dye manufacturing
17. Occupational exposure as a painter
18. Paving and roofing with coal-tar pitch
19. Rubber industry
20. Occupational exposure of strong inorganic acid mists containing sulphuric acid
21. Naturally occurring mixtures of aflatoxins (produced by funghi)
22. Alcoholic beverages
23. Areca nut – often chewed with betel leaf
24. Betel quid without tobacco
25. Betel quid with tobacco
26. Coal tar pitches
27. Coal tars
28. Indoor emissions from household combustion of coal
29. Diesel exhaust
30. Mineral oils, untreated and mildly treated
31. Phenacetin, a pain and fever reducing drug
32. Plants containing aristolochic acid (used in Chinese herbal medicine)
33. Polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) – widely used in electrical equipment in the past, banned in many countries in the 1970s
34. Chinese-style salted fish
35. Shale oils
36. Soots
37. Smokeless tobacco products
38. Wood dust
39. Processed meat
40. Acetaldehyde
41. 4-Aminobiphenyl
42. Aristolochic acids and plants containing them
43. Asbestos
44. Arsenic and arsenic compounds
45. Azathioprine
46. Benzene
47. Benzidine
48. Benzo[a]pyrene
49. Beryllium and beryllium compounds
50. Chlornapazine (N,N-Bis(2-chloroethyl)-2-naphthylamine)
51. Bis(chloromethyl)ether
52. Chloromethyl methyl ether
53. 1,3-Butadiene
54. 1,4-Butanediol dimethanesulfonate (Busulphan, Myleran)
55. Cadmium and cadmium compounds
56. Chlorambucil
57. Methyl-CCNU (1-(2-Chloroethyl)-3-(4-methylcyclohexyl)-1-nitrosourea; Semustine)
58. Chromium(VI) compounds
59. Ciclosporin
60. Contraceptives, hormonal, combined forms (those containing both oestrogen and a progestogen)
61. Contraceptives, oral, sequential forms of hormonal contraception (a period of oestrogen-only followed by a period of both oestrogen and a progestogen)
62. Cyclophosphamide
63. Diethylstilboestrol
64. Dyes metabolized to benzidine
65. Epstein-Barr virus
66. Oestrogens, nonsteroidal
67. Oestrogens, steroidal
68. Oestrogen therapy, postmenopausal
69. Ethanol in alcoholic beverages
70. Erionite
71. Ethylene oxide
72. Etoposide alone and in combination with cisplatin and bleomycin
73. Formaldehyde
74. Gallium arsenide
75. Helicobacter pylori (infection with)
76. Hepatitis B virus (chronic infection with)
77. Hepatitis C virus (chronic infection with)
78. Herbal remedies containing plant species of the genus Aristolochia
79. Human immunodeficiency virus type 1 (infection with)
80. Human papillomavirus type 16, 18, 31, 33, 35, 39, 45, 51, 52, 56, 58, 59 and 66
81. Human T-cell lymphotropic virus type-I
82. Melphalan
83. Methoxsalen (8-Methoxypsoralen) plus ultraviolet A-radiation
84. 4,4′-methylene-bis(2-chloroaniline) (MOCA)
85. MOPP and other combined chemotherapy including alkylating agents
86. Mustard gas (sulphur mustard)
87. 2-Naphthylamine
88. Neutron radiation
89. Nickel compounds
90. 4-(N-Nitrosomethylamino)
91. N-Nitrosonornicotine (NNN)
92. Opisthorchis viverrini (infection with)
93. Outdoor air pollution
94. Particulate matter in outdoor air pollution
95. Phosphorus-32, as phosphate
96. Plutonium-239 and its decay products (may contain plutonium-240 and other isotopes), as aerosols
97. Radioiodines, short-lived isotopes, including iodine-131, from atomic reactor accidents and nuclear weapons detonation (exposure during childhood)
98. Radionuclides, α-particle-emitting, internally deposited
99. Radionuclides, β-particle-emitting, internally deposited
100. Radium-224 and its decay products
101. Radium-226 and its decay products
102. Radium-228 and its decay products
103. Radon-222 and its decay products
104. Schistosoma haematobium (infection with)
105. Silica, crystalline (inhaled in the form of quartz or cristobalite from occupational sources)
106. Solar radiation
107. Talc containing asbestiform fibres
108. Tamoxifen
109. 2,3,7,8-tetrachlorodibenzo-para-dioxin
110. Thiotepa (1,1′,1′-phosphinothioylidynetrisaziridine)
111. Thorium-232 and its decay products, administered intravenously as a colloidal dispersion of thorium-232 dioxide
112. Treosulfan
113. Ortho-toluidine
114. Vinyl chloride
115. Ultraviolet radiation
116. X-radiation and gamma radiation

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Have you ever you wondered how certain people have gotten so successful? Sure you have. A great idea, motivation, persistence, and a little luck helps, but most successful people share certain habits. Here are nine habits that have helped place them on the top:
1. They meditate.
Ray Dalio, the founder of Bridgewater Associates, told The Huffington Post in 2013 that “Meditation, more than anything in my life was the biggest ingredient of whatever success I’ve had.” Dalio, however, is not alone. Oprah, Rupert Murdoch, Russell Simmons, Arianna Huffington, Bill Ford and Padmasree Warrior have all attributed mediation as a huge component to their success.
Taking care of your body and mind by relaxing, exercising, healthy eating and getting enough sleep are all ways to improve your chances of success.
2. They wake up early.
President Obama, Richard Branson, Jack Dorsey, Larry Schultz, Tim Cook and Xerox CEO Ursula Burns are known to be early risers. How has this attributed to their success? Because early risers are able to start their days ahead of everyone else by responding to others, exercising and finding some personal time, early risers also tend to be happier and are more proactive.
3. They network.
Successful people realize the importance of networking. In fact, research has found that networking can lead to people performing better at work and increases the chance of landing a job. Networking helps our successful people be more innovative. According to Dale Carnegie’s classic “How To Win Friends & influence People,” successful people rarely complain or criticize. They are sincere and try to be empathetic.
4. Keep themselves busy.
Successful people are rarely idle. Achievers like LBJ and Robert Moses were known to work 60-65 hours per work. Elon Musk works a whooping 80-100 hours per week and has said, “That’s the type of work ethic an entrepreneur needs to have.”
5. They know when to say “no.”
“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” – Warren Buffett
Successful people realize that by saying “no” to negativity, extra work and activities that waste time, they can focus on increasing their productivity. If they say “yes” to everyone or everything, they’ll be too distracted and will not accomplish tasks that have to be done.
6. They don’t watch TV, they read.
According to Thomas Corley, author of “Rich Habits: The Daily Success Habits Of Wealthy Individuals,” 67 percent of rich people only watch TV for one hour or less per day. Corley also found only 6 percent of the wealthy watch reality shows, while 78 percent of the poor do.
Additionally, 86 percent of the wealthy love to read with an impressive 88 percent claiming that they read for self-improvement for 30 minutes or more per day.
7. They write to-do lists the night before.
Successful people are known for writing their to-do-lists the night before so that they are able to set priorities for the following day. They number their lists as well to identify which tasks are the most important.
8. They set goals and visualize.
Joel Brown interviewed a number of high achievers for Entrepreneur and found that “Ninety-five percent of the successful achievers I have interviewed practice writing down their goals, plans, or visions for success on a regular basis.” Successful people do this the night before, or first thing in the morning so that they are prepared to tackle the challenges that await them.”
9. They manage their money.
Successful people have gotten where they are because they were able to manage their finances well. This means that they invest their money wisely, look for new opportunities and set aside emergency funds. They are more generous and willing to donate to those who need help. Here are 101 ways that I’ve put together to save money like well-off people. In addition, I’ve found that my marriage has become 10x better with enough savings in the bank for a year of expenses. That saved us when my last business venture failed.
There is an old saying that luck and preparation always meet opportunity.
The most successful people set themselves up for success by preparing all the time. Successful people expect luck will find them, and it usually does.
By John Rampton

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Sammy and I met a few blocks from my house and believe it or not, the chemistry was palpable. We shared banter. He laughed at all my jokes. He was a perfect description of a hunk, tall, dark and handsome, just the way I like them…

On our fourth date, the butterflies were already bursting out of my tummy. I actually liked this guy! I could see this becoming a thing.

When he dropped me off that evening, he learned forward to kiss me but I had my inhibitions. I realised all I knew about him was his name and the sound of his laughter.
I suggested we hold off for a while and just try and get to know each other better first Okay, Naijasinglegirl, ask me questions.” He muttered with a sigh. I began interrogating him. All my questions came with monosyllabic replies.

“What do you even do for a living?” I asked casually. “I’m a major stakeholder in one of Nigeria’s finance houses.” He replied confidently.

Huh? Was he playing with my intelligence or what?

“What does that even mean? Explain further.”

“Okay, okay, I live on my proceeds from nairabet”. No matter how nicely he tried to put it, I got the message LOUD and CLEAR! Sammy plays nairabet for a living!

Jesus Christ!

I didn’t know what I had gotten myself into until I paid a visit to his house the following day. By one corner of his sitting room, I noticed a catalogue of complete sports/soccerstar newspapers. All of them were in a cabinet with an inscription ‘Business Documents’ written on It.

See me see wahala oh!

He excuse himself to the kitchen to get me a drink. Seconds later, I heard a shrill cry of , “Jesus Christtttttttt! I’m dead”.
Thinking hot water spilled on him or some other accident, I dashed into the kitchen to help only to find him leaning by the gas cooker, fiddling with his phone. Livescores homepage was on his screen.

“What happened? You gave a fright” I barked.
“Babe, I just made one of my biggest losses.. I staked a lot in this game mehn."He retorted.

“Honestly, I can’t imagine myself dating a guy that gambles. I’m not amused.” I spoke with a frown.

My guy suddenly broke into an angry outburst.

He began feeding me tales of how it was the same nairabet money that funded our dates at the fancy restaurants we dined, how he sends some of his nairabet money to his sister, how he made a bet with his friends that he’s going to fund his wedding with nairabet money when he eventually gets married.( to me?)

Are you kidding me? He actually made a bet with nairabet? His case is spiritual.

I went into deep thought immediately I got home.

He once borrowed my phone for an hour and when he returned it, he had bookmarked livescores. The day we watched soccer together, this guy was vibrating like he had epilepsy each time his team missed a goal simply because he staked his future in nairabet!

If we date, how do I even tell my family and friends my boyfriend buys nairabet shares for a living? If I eventually end up marrying this guy, he will one day use his wife and kids to play nairabet.

I don’t want to be waking up to complete sports paper on our bed and going to bed with livescores on our TV screen.
I don’t want them to sponsor my funeral with nairabet money.

At this point in my life, I can’t be wasting my time in any relationship that won’t lead me to the altar.

Currently, his ‘nairabet business’ is at breakeven point and he’s been going through bouts of mood swings. SMH
They say once a gambler, always a gambler.

I told him to give me a break. What would you advise me?
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In 2015, this may be hard for some to believe, but the truth is, there are many women who are actively saying “NO” to sex for reasons ranging from religion to keeping themselves for marriage to self-love. 16 women give their reasons for saying “NO” to sex, as published by Charli Penn in Essence.


“I’m celibate because I’m trying to have a closer relationship with God and His will for my life. I believe I am too valuable to give my body and the best years of my life to anyone who is not planning to commit to me. So until I meet my husband, it’s locked, and the key is thrown away.” — First Lady Washington


“I choose to wait because I want to do what the Bible says and not what the world says. I want to save my body for my husband and not be worn out by the time I get married.” — Valencia


“I’m choosing to be celibate until marriage. You have to demand respect for a real man to take you seriously. Any joker can feed you a dream. I have faith there are great men out there, but being celibate weeds out the bad ones. Besides, your body is a temple. I wish I could tell a lot of girls that sex before marriage is not the way.” — Jazz


“I’m six years celibate. Anybody can have sex; I want to make love. I promised God and myself that I would remain celibate until I was in love and married. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m holding on strong.” — Krisha


“I’m celibate because I’ve kissed too many frogs, and now I’m going to wait to meet my prince.” – Brevard


“After allowing myself to be hurt by men numerous times, I decided to become celibate. It actually feels good. I am able to identify my needs and to focus on myself instead of other people’s perception of me. I am able to have a better relationship and connection with God. At first, it was challenging, but now I am loving me a whole lot more!” — Krystal


“I’m celibate because I’m rebuilding my relationship with God, and I was tired of men taking advantage of a gift intended for my husband. Too many people are being careless in their sexual lives. I love myself and want to live worry free.” —Amy


“I am celibate because I love the Lord with all my heart. I just want to be the woman of God that he has called on me to be.” — Gic Gic


“Celibacy and abstinence test your ability to be patient with yourself and to control impulse desires. Being able to sustain from something that just about every human being desires, like sex, is the ultimate test of mental strength. It’s so easy to give in to sex because it’s everywhere, and to not choose to indulge until you are ready takes a lot of patience and focus. Sex is not everything, and as you mature and grow into yourself, it does not become your number one priority anymore. Finding peace within myself has become a necessity, and I am still searching for it.” — Chana


“I am waiting to have sex until I meet my husband. I did my it way, and it didn’t work. Now, I’m going to do it the Lord’s way.”— Moni


“I’m abstinent for the moment. I’m just not interested in anyone right now. I’m learning how to please myself, and I’m doing a damn good job.” — Desiree


“I have been with my boyfriend for seven years now, and we decided to abstain from sex until we are married. We are both Christians and believe the best place for sex is within a married relationship. We are now engaged and planning to get married this May. We know the wait will be worth it, and I feel so special that I will be his one and only and he will be mine. Love, marriage and sex are sacred things and not to be taken lightly.” — Rebecca


“I’ve been celibate for the better part of three years now. I love God, but I have also learned to love myself. There are too many diseases out there for people not to take sex seriously. I haven’t had an orgasm yet that was worth dying for.” — Betsy


“I’m in the V-Club, and I am a proud member! I have something that is so precious, and I plan to keep it that way until I get married. Life is much more simple for me than I think it is for others who are no longer in the club. I am so busy with school, hobbies and being a good daughter to the Lord that I don’t even have time for those types of complications. I feel like a gem.” — Mayen‘


“I’m now abstinent. I’ve learned by practicing abstinence then falling back into lust, making the same mistakes of sex before marriage just to find out that it was only a temporary pleasure with no love. I’m now abstinent once again and have been since 2012. It feels really good, and I feel strongly about it. With faith and overwhelming love in my heart, I’m prayerful to soon be married.” — Linda


“I’m a virgin. I made a promise to myself and to God that I would wait until marriage for the man God ordained me to be with. I want to make sure that that man is going to be there for me emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically for more than a few hours, days, weeks or months. Plus, leaving sex out of the picture helps me focus on the other great attributes of the man I’m interested in and vice versa.” — Alexzandria

Are you saying ‘NO’ or ‘YES’ to sex? share your reasons in the comment box.

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